The feeling of completeness arrives
when you surrender to the truest version of you:
the deepest part that was crushed in the early
years.

The part you didn’t show to the world.
The part that came here with a life to live.

April Green

I’ve had a morning ritual for nine years.

I will be sharing it in detail in my upcoming 5 module embodied writing course for cultivating deep healing, self-love and acceptance.

It is a daily routine that took me from self destruction to self-respect. A daily practice that opened up a dream about writing a book, to a reality of six books, 3 of them on the shelves in Barnes and Noble stores.

It involves energy healing, self-care, and daily writing—a constant shape carved into the air giving me the gift of radical self-acceptance and peace.

Like the daily breaking of bread, it is nourishing and healing.

It deepened a year ago when I became certified in trauma-informed manifestation and root cause therapy. And, further still in September when I created and welcomed a shamanic drum into my world.

“You can’t fake the core. The truth that lives there will always come out.”

—Cheryl Strayed

A song for you:

A few years ago, I learned a hard lesson that I’ve written about in my free eBook. (If you’d like to read it, a copy can be found at the end of this post.)

I desperately needed to embed a much deeper ritual into my life to stay closer to what is true for me—my values, my heart, my self-worth; everything that can shatter in the wrong hands.

If the ground beneath you is ever pulled out from under you, the way back is to root yourself into it even more deeply.

Live from your soul

When you devote your whole self to something you do from the soul, you are alive all the time.

When you cherish the process: your own way of healing and staying close to what is true, you will deepen the relationship you have with yourself and your life.

Even when the content changes. Even when the thoughts change, and the emotions get uprooted along with faded imprints and memories, the ritual somehow holds it all.

When you work with your own energy in your own space, that space becomes sacred.

Insights arise, wisdom weaves its way in, and reminders resurface when you need them the most. Like this one:

whatever is happening on the outside is nearly always reflecting what is happening on the inside.

So, each day becomes an invitation to keep showing up, to keep doing the work.

My ritual brings me joy. The joy brings me vitality, and that vitality brings me to a new earth every day. A place where, after years of hiding who I was, hiding how I felt, and seeking relief from how I felt, I don’t ever have to apologise.

I can be who I am.

My body, the drum, and the air all know what to expect. But the words that arise and leave my lips, the rhythm of my drum and the pen on the page, are never the same.

I drink cacao before I start, and I speak to her. I tell her who I am, thank her for being here and ask her to open my heart a little wider.

When I go away for a few days, I still do my ritual, but new insights arise.

I think taking yourself away from your everyday environment gives you clarity about the changes you wish to make when you return.

Sometimes, you need to go somewhere new
to see what you’ve left behind a little more
clearly.

April Green

I accept who I am. The space I’ve created accepts who I am.

And because of this, I love who I am.

Tender reminder:

When you stand still for long enough, you notice where the magic is. It is within the middle ground where so many, (including me many years ago) fail to see.

How to deepen your daily ritual

When you can cultivate the courage to speak aloud in your ritual space you will be inviting your deeper, most authentic self to speak.

It’s a bit like free writing—you’re allowing a hidden voice to enter the space.

In the process, you’re declaring that it’s safe to be here, it’s safe to be who you are.

The more you embed this into your daily routine, the more you align with and attract authentic communication.

When speaking out loud:

Become aware of how your body responds.

The authentic self is not overly emotional. It is calm and non reactive.

Do you feel open and expansive, or contracted and fearful?

Start to notice and get curious. Drop in somatically and trust that your body will show you any parts that are activated when you speak about your desires.

These parts are afraid of relaxing, afraid they will no longer be able to protect you if you step into a new space. They show up in your day to day life as resistance and procrastination.

Just notice, and meet any contracted energy with compassion.

The goal is for you to harness joy—to be yourself, love yourself, honour yourself; and to cultivate more presence, more stillness, and more gratitude for what you already have.

Reflection:

Until you discover, accept and love who you truly are beneath it all, you will not comfortably step into the life you’re dreaming about.

My upcoming course is available on 4th December on my substack Within.

The course is worth £222 and is only £50 for paid subscribers. Find out more here.

If you would like to know how Root Cause Therapy and Soul Retrieval can help you release your trapped emotions and dis-empowering beliefs, book a free discovery call with me.

It’s an honor to be here sharing my words with you, and I am incredibly grateful for the time you have taken to follow my journey, and read my words. Feel free to keep in touch: hello@aprilgreen.uk

Sending love and light always, April xxx

The post On being yourself appeared first on April Green.

Within is my new weekly (news) letter to help you find the answers to the things you don’t always understand about yourself.

From processing your core wounds, letting go, mindfulness, self-love, to learning techniques for connecting with and healing your inner child – I hope you’ll join me!

A substack newsletter.

Subscribe here.

Within is for YOU.

It is for the writer in you, the creator in you, and the healer in you.

You already have the answers. You just need to learn how to allow your inner wisdom to guide you towards accessing them.

Within is a space for you to reflect inwardly and start cultivating a more loving and compassionate relationship with yourself.

Why subscribe?

Within is a free (news) letter and you will receive a free version containing inspirational content each week on a Sunday.

Paid subscriptions are only $6 a month and you will receive full access to weekly (news) letters that will include practices for self-love and inner child healing, writing prompts, monthly journaling and creativity guides, embodied healing techniques, audio recordings, and poetry.

Paid subscribers will also have access to an exclusive Writing Course before Christmas worth $175!

Founding member packages are $120 a year and include all of the above plus a 45 minute 1:1 zoom or telephone call with me where we can’t talk about anything you like.

Perhaps the most pressing thing in your life right now, or how to build a morning writing practice. I can’t provide a Root Cause Therapy session in that time, but we can do EFT (emotional freedom technique) or an inner child healing meditation together.

Take a look at the subscription options below:

And please subscribe to the free version anyway – you can always upgrade later!

Never miss an update

You won’t have to worry about missing anything. Every new edition of the newsletter goes directly to your inbox.

Join the community

Within is becoming a community of people who share your interests: self-love, healing and transformation.

To find out more about the company that provides the tech for this newsletter, visit Substack.com.

Thank you for supporting my work!.

April Green is a writer, blogger, healer and author of the Bloom For Yourself poetry books. Subscribe to her weekly (news) letter Within and visit her website to download her free eBook “Healing Your Inner Child.”
You can also connect with her on Instagram.

The post Within – A Substack (News) Letter appeared first on April Green.

When fear rises,
understand that it is usually
because you have lost touch
with yourself.
treat fear as a message
to create some space
to invite the stillness and
unconditional love of your
deeper self to be felt.

(re-connect)

April Greeen

Whenever life feels dark and heavy, you might forget how to breathe. You might forget how to open your eyes a little bit wider, or forget the scent of earth — the comfort of remembering you are never truly alone.

It is a feeling I have navigated countless times over the many changing seasons of my life.

Not only through the significant events — losing jobs, divorce, breast cancer, addiction, grief, and the recent big one: empty nest syndrome — sometimes, the little things in between carry the most weight.

But, what always startles me once the dark season passes is that it always gifts me a new lesson, a new connection, a different kind of frequency.

And always, always the rediscovery of a message pressed inside a journal like sacred scripture: “Return to yourself.”

Each time the light starts shifting, I always come to realise that I have traveled too far from myself.

A song for you:

Sometimes we get lost because we’re trying to get somewhere we were never destined to be.

Sometimes, our vision becomes blurred because we look in the distance and not at the earth beneath our feet.

Sometimes, we run, numb, and hide to avoid how we truly feel. We want relief, but unconsciously, we do all the wrong things and look in all the wrong places.

Sometimes, we hold our breath as though it will silence the inner pain.

I once heard depression described as a ball of sadness. I can only imagine then that the ball of sadness is like a chunk of frozen tears.

‘Cry’ is one of the first things I always tell myself. “It’s okay. I give you permission to cry.”

You are the answer

Your deeper self knows the answer.

So it is from this self that I invite you to write the comforting words your sad self needs to hear.

For it is this self that you must return to each time you feel lost and overwhelmed. The deeper self.

The one that never leaves you. The one that sits inside the echo of your beating heart, lays you down when you need to rest, hears the birdsong, not your thoughts, and keeps your feet on the ground when you feel yourself floating away.

Return to your Self.

Reminders for your journal when the dark times cause you to forget:

1. You are the answer. Return to yourself. Return to your beating heart and delicate breath like the faint mist of morning light guiding you back to life.
   
2. Right now, in this very moment.
   In this very moment right now — you are safe.
   
3. You don’t need to be moving forward. There isn’t a destination. If just showing up is all you can do today, that’s okay. (That’s all you ever need to do.)
   
4. At the root of your problems are people who feel exactly the same. Find them.
   
5. Speak how you feel out of yourself, and your feelings will soften. (Be honest about how you feel — hide nothing from yourself.)
   
6. Trust that there is nothing out there that can make you feel any more whole, any more worthy, or any more complete than you already are. Feel into this and know it to be true.
   
7. Get out your journal and write down a time when you felt safe. Describe what was happening. Who were you with. What did the air taste like? How did the light fall. What do you remember the most?
   
8. Walk on the Earth barefoot. Sway with the breeze. Dance gently.
   
9. Don’t allow this painful season to rob you of remembering the things that matter the most.
   
10. You will find your way back. You always do.

The best way I have discovered to stay connected to this wholeness is through my ongoing relationship with the healing power of nature – the elements, the life force.

Read more about how to heal and strengthen your self-worth.

Healing your inner child

Read my free eBook – if you want to more about how to heal your core wounds, and inner child with the healing power of nature. You can also order a paperback copy with quotes and poems, and blank pages for your notes from Amazon.

Instant download

free 100 page eBook for you: “Healing Your Inner Child.” Download it here 

If you would like to know how Root Cause Therapy and Soul Retrieval can help you release your trapped emotions and dis-empowering beliefs, book a free discovery call with me.

It’s an honor to be here sharing my words with you, and I am incredibly grateful for the time you have taken to follow my journey, and read my words. Feel free to keep in touch: hello@aprilgreen.uk

Sending love and light always, April xxx

The post Some Comforting Words You Might Need to Hear When Life Feels Dark and Heavy appeared first on April Green.

Saltwater

Always remember this—you did not come here to
ask for forgiveness. You came here as a gift of the
purest, rawest form; carrying nothing but the taste of
salt on your lips and alchemy in your bones. And if
the ash you leave behind is as small as a grain of sand
then it will still leave a crushingly beautiful stain of
gold upon the Earth. So please—practice speaking
without an apology falling from your mouth like an
afterthought. Because you are just as precious as
everyone else.

Bloom for Yourself, April Green

A song for you:

The Healing Power of Nature

Saltwater will always be one of my favourite pieces of writing. I’m a water sign, and grew up by the sea. For this reason, I’m deeply drawn to the ocean – the waves like white lace around my feet; the sting of salt on my skin. There was a moment when I entered the sea in Scotland recently when it felt like my soul, and the soul of something much greater than me came together. Any sense of separation fell away.

I was a spiritual seeker for many many years until I had an experience at a train station and the veil of identification fell away. As a result, I was left feeling completely whole – as I had always been, but failed to see.

Soul Retrieval

After I had Root Cause Therapy, or Soul Retrieval as it’s traditionally known in Shamanic healing, it just naturally happened more and more. And through my healing certifications, I came to understand that any form of seeking is actually “seeking relief” from the sense of feeling separate, contracted, and restless. That’s no longer exists for me now.

The best way I have discovered to stay connected to this wholeness is through my ongoing relationship with the healing power of nature – the elements, the life force. Being immersed in nature invokes our body, mind, and soul to come together and recognise our inherent ability to grow, evolve, transform and heal on all levels. Nature especially helps us connect with our soul. As a result, we come to remember our wholeness on a more profound level.

Remembering our wholeness

Feeling separate, or feeling as though something is broken, or missing within is the result of a soul loss.

A soul loss takes place when we go through emotionally overwhelming times (mainly as children) with no safe resource available to settle us and make us feel safe. In these instances, a part of our soul (our authentic expression) splits off, and we adapt in order to get through what is happening to us. This adaptation creates the ego – the sense of a separate self; like armour to protect us from further pain.

In the process of a soul retrieval, we bring all the threads of our fragmented soul back into our sacred being; and this is done using our present day resources. The resources we can use are:

• Intention
• The guidance of a healer
• Our own inner wisdom
• Our body
• The healing power of nature
• The commitment to create a sacred space to honour our intention everyday.

How to use the healing power of nature in ritual

Setting the intention to heal

Setting the intention to heal whatever is unconscious within you; whatever is causing you to feel disconnected from yourself, and your life, creates deeply positive results. But what makes this step even more transformative, is when you create a sacred space of ritual to honour yourself, your helping spirits, and the elements. In this way, you are building a container in which you remember what you are a part of, what supports you, and what lifts your senses and reconnects you to your innate source of power – Earth.

Invoking the healing power of nature

After setting your intention to heal, (or shift an energetic block, or emotional pain), start cleansing the space you have chosen for your ritual. I use Reiki for clearing my space, but you can use sage, incense, or a paulo santo stick. What you are doing here is a spiritual cleanse – you are leaving your troubles, fears, and concerns behind. You are stepping into a clear space filled with love, compassion, light, and the frequency of your intention.

Next, call in (invoke) the healing power of nature – earth, air, water, fire. Light a candle, lay out a shell if you have one, or a glass of water, and a crystal. Bring along anything else that you feel called to bring to this space. Say out loud, or silently: “I call in the power of earth, air, water, fire, and all helping and compassionate spirits.”

An invocation is the bridge between the physical world and the unseen, un-manifest world:

“The only difference between a vision that remains in the imagined world and one that becomes a reality is the action you take.”

Ya’acov Darling Khan

Offer the unseen forces a gift. Below are some offerings you can make to them – silently, or out loud:

• I offer you the sweet scent of sage;
• I bring you my favourite poem; (read this out loud)
• I bring you my open heart, my unconditional love;
• I offer you deep gratitude for entering this space with me;
• I bring you music, dance, song; (play music, beat a drum or other instrument, dance, sing).

The goal here is for you to harness joy. For you to feel free enough to be yourself, love yourself, and honour yourself and all unseen, helping forces.

Breathe with the healing power of nature

Sit comfortably and get ready to start with your breath. Allow your breath to drop you into presence; allow it to begin the subtle activation of the energy moving through you. Inhale through your nose, and and expand into the energy. Exhale through your mouth, and release and soften. Keep going with this slow, and conscious breath work so that you start to create the feeling of more space throughout your body. Allow the natural flow of energy to expand and soften in whatever way it wants to move through you. Let it express itself – start to move your body with the flow if you feel called to do so.

The invitation here is to allow yourself to feel the breath, the elements – the healing power of nature -moving through you. To connect deeply with your physical body and your energy body; and to increase your capacity to sit with emotions and triggers so that they can gradually disperse.

Be present with yourself and the healing power of nature

Stay in this space for at least 5 minutes. Here, you are being yourself; allowing yourself to show up exactly as you are. The candle flickering is being itself. The crystal shimmering is being itself. The water, the sage, the floor supporting you – everything is being exactly as it is. Repeat to silently, or out loud: “Here I am, as I am.”

Rest in this space and allow whatever comes up to come up. If fear arises, label it “fear” without trying to find the meaning behind it. If a reminder comes up, label it “reminder” without getting attached to it and losing the focus on your breath, and your intention to heal. We can’t stop thoughts, but we can consciously choose how we respond to them.

Prayer for releasing blocked energy

Next, if you feel called to do so, release an emotional block, pain, or any hurt into the elements of earth, air, water, and fire. Because, each time you speak your feelings out loud you are discharging some of the built up energy which is stuck in your body. Hold your intention for healing as you ask your higher self to transform the energy you are feeling into a nourishing vibration of love and light.

Repeat the below prayer, or create your own:

“May all the energy behind my trapped emotions be transformed into love and light. Thank you.”

Integrating the healing power of nature

As you come to the end of your ritual for healing, consider what has arisen for you – what emotions and blocks did you become aware of during your meditation? What sensations arose in your body that you became aware of? Start to journal about your experience. Consider what changes you would like to make to ensure that the gifts and lessons you received in the space you created are acted upon. What actions can you commit to take in the next few days in order to integrate the lessons you received today?

We cannot heal the past until we decide to step onto new earth. Your ritual using the healing power of nature is the bridge that takes you there. Give thanks to yourself for showing up and undertaking this beautiful, embodied practice.

I have included some journal prompts below to help you harness the healing power of nature.

Read more about how to heal and strengthen your self-worth.

Healing your inner child

Read my free eBook – if you want to more about how to heal your core wounds, and inner child with the healing power of nature. You can also order a paperback copy with quotes and poems, and blank pages for your notes from Amazon.

Instant download

free 100 page eBook for you: “Healing Your Inner Child.” Download it here 

Journal prompts for harnessing the healing power of nature

1. Reflect on the concept of change and transformation using the changing seasons as metaphor;
2. Write about a personal memory that has a strong connection to the upcoming season of Autumn/Fall;
3. Describe a specific place in nature that has a calming effect on you. What is it about this place that brings you peace?
4. Describe the role of nature in your self-care routine. How do you incorporate it into your daily life for physical, emotional, and mental well-being?
5. Write a letter to your future self about your goals and aspirations for the next season of your life. Try to incorporate the elements into your letter, for example: water = clarity, balance, depth.

Snippets from my Shamanic Drum Birthing trip to Wales

When I first heard the beat of a shamanic drum in a moonlit forest, it was like a remembering. To birth my very own drum was a sacred journey – as though I was coming back to myself.

Lammas Earth Centre – A magical place created by Hoppi Wimbush and Tao Paul Wimbush.

A quote I really resonate with:

“Nature is not our enemy, to be raped and conquered. Nature is ourselves, to be cherished and explored.”
― Terence McKenna

If you would like to know how Root Cause Therapy and Soul Retrieval can help you release your trapped emotions and dis-empowering beliefs, book a free discovery call with me. I have a couple of slots available in the middle of October.

It’s an honor to be here sharing my words with you, and I am incredibly grateful for the time you have taken to follow my journey, and read my words. Feel free to keep in touch: hello@aprilgreen.uk

Sending love and light always, April xxx

The post The Healing Power of Nature appeared first on April Green.

“You don’t need to do anything else,
or be anything else for you to be worthy.
You are already worthy. It is your
birthright.”

April Green

A song I’m currently enjoying:

I’m not good enough – the unconscious driver

From as far back as I can remember, I was always led by outside forces. Even when I could feel an inner knowing, like a tugging inside my chest drawing me to what was right; I ignored it and followed the crowd. I didn’t trust myself. I had no sense of self-worth, and instead, I put my trust into other people because I believed they knew better than me.

What followed was years of self-sacrifice, people pleasing, feeling less than, shrinking, numbing, running, and self-loathing. I didn’t know who I was, or how I felt, or what it even felt like to be me. I didn’t even want to be me, which is, ultimately, self-rejection.

When it comes to undigested life experiences that create stuck imprints, and survival stress in our nervous system, we forget the divine truth: that we are already worthy, and loved, and good enough. Instead, we operate from the following beliefs:

There’s something wrong with me
I’m not good enough
I don’t deserve this
I don’t fit in.

It took me a very long, turbulent, and messy time to finally understand that low self-worth, created from the core wound of rejection, (the mother wound for women) was unconsciously driving my life.

I could, and probably will write a whole book on the core wound of rejection, but I do cover it a lot in my free eBook – read if here if you haven’t already. You can also order a paperback copy with quotes and poems, and blank pages for your notes from Amazon.

“Each time you go against
what your deeper self knows to be true
(that you are inherently worthy),
you disconnect from yourself a little more.
And the further away you go,
the more lost you become.”

April Green

What is the Importance of Self-Worth?

When you have a strong sense of self-worth you can cope with negative thoughts and self-doubt. You give yourself the power to understand yourself holistically – (emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically), and you build the capacity to sit with difficult emotions and not allow them to flood you. You find ways to honour the complexity, and uniqueness of who you are, whilst also acknowledging that you deserve to take up as much space as anyone else.

Having a strong sense of self-worth stops you from settling, self-abandoning, and putting other people’s needs and emotions before your own.

Ultimately, knowing and embodying your worth starts with the ability to love yourself unconditionally – but please be wary of the “self-love” mindset traps you can fall into.

False positivity perpetuates the unworthy wound

When we rely on mindset work to heal our core wounds, it can actually perpetuate them. The sense of “I’m not good enough”, and “I don’t trust myself” or “I’m doing this wrong” starts to take over because our subconscious mind doesn’t feel what we’re saying to be true. We therefore end up bypassing the root cause of how we feel. So, if you have core wounds, mindset work doesn’t really have any lasting effect; it just ends up being another form of seeking relief from feelings of insecurity and dissatisfaction. Read more about why we can get stuck in a healing trap here.

I’m not in any way against mindset work; however we can’t rely on mindset work alone when our cellular memory – the subconscious mind, is holding so many imprints from emotionally overwhelming events that were never fully processed. Once an event is stored and programmed, it makes no difference to the subconscious mind what we tell ourselves now. What is most important is to heal the cellular memory from the past event, and the feelings and beliefs this memory transmits. This means finding the origin, or root cause, of where the painful beliefs and narratives started, and seeing the event in a new light, and from the lens of an adult.

It means that we stop bypassing our current reality, and we learn to sit with and process the reasons why we need a positive affirmation to feel good about ourselves in the first place.

Instead of using a positive affirmation to change how you feel, use a positive affirmation to uncover the root cause of how you feel. I have a journal practice you can use for doing this at the end of this blog post.

What is Root Cause Therapy

Root-Cause Therapy is a revolutionary healing modality, based on the ancient method of soul retrieval, which aims to address the underlying causes of various mental and emotional issues, such as anxiety, depression, addiction, trauma, and more. Unlike conventional therapies that focus on the symptoms or the surface-level problems, Root-Cause Therapy goes deeper into the subconscious mind and the body to release the negative emotions, beliefs, and patterns that are holding you back from living your best life.

Root-Cause Therapy uses gentle regression, somatic and embodied processing, and inner child healing to allow the completion of unprocessed emotions which are still presently causing unwanted thoughts, habits, and symptoms. 

In the first session, we discover the core wounds and the limiting beliefs that your subconscious mind believes to be true, and which are therefore affecting what you are attracting into your life, and affecting your self-worth. We then start processing and healing these emotional imprints and beliefs that are stored in your subconscious mind, so that you can start to release the need for any negative habits that have been created as a result. Root Cause Therapy is a wonderful, holistic modality for healing the wound of unworthiness.

“You are everything you see and more;
but too often, you are looking through the eyes of the past, the field of fear, the mistakes, the guilt, the pain. So, I hope, maybe one day soon, you will learn to forgive yourself for carrying such a heavy, blinding weight. I hope you will learn how to open your eyes a little wider and start afresh.”

Healing is daily devotion (which strengthens self-worth)

I’m currently working 1:1 with women who all struggle with the same thing – worthiness, self-trust, confidence, and belonging. And so much of these feeling and dis-empowering beliefs are all part of being human. But these feelings and beliefs are also overlaying the lives we are worthy of living to our fullest, and causing depression, anxiety, emotional dysregulation and the reliance on coping mechanisms just to feel better.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

It takes courage, and time, and a very strong desire to heal pain, conditioning, and patterns that keep showing up and sabotaging your life, before you can even begin to feel into and know your inherent worth. But, the more your release and process, the more space you clear for your innate wisdom to come through and show you how incredible it feels to be who you already are. To be yourself without the armour of protection that was needed in your early years, and is no longer serving you now.

Integrating

Each time you process and heal, you rise into what is here now – you amplify your self-worth. This is the beauty of deep healing. Life contracts and expands, and you learn to build your tolerance for being with whatever energy is appearing. In time, you grow your capacity to sit with your emotional pain, and process it, instead of self-abandoning and turning to protective strategies that don’t serve you.

You get to experience the reward: the gift of peace, spaciousness, presence, and high self-worth.

True healing really does start with devoting yourself to strengthening, and deepening the relationship you have with yourself above anything else.

Read more about healing the unworthy wound in my free eBook.

Instant download

free 100 page eBook for you: “Healing Your Inner Child.” Download it here 

Journal Exercise for finding what is blocking your sense of worth

Instead of using a positive affirmation to change how you feel, use a positive affirmation to uncover the root cause of how you feel.

1. Take a moment to be with the mind in curiosity. Say the statement “I am good enough”
2. Watch the mind and see how it reacts to this statement.
3. What happens internally? What comes up for you?
4. Practice other affirmations: “I am enough as I am”. “I am worthy of love”.
5. Feel into each one and notice what comes up for you.
6. Make a note, and see if you can track the origin of the original event if there is a block, or sensations, and images are appearing. If you feel nothing, then this is also a response; so make a note of this too as it could be a sign of dissociation, and shutdown.

Do this exercise regularly so that you can start cultivating a “felt sense” of your body and learn to go there more often. Get comfortable with being more in your body than you are in your head.

How to strengthen self-worth

• Be very clear with yourself, and your boundaries – re-write your values;
• KNOW and TRUST when something doesn’t feel aligned;
• Don’t ask others for advice – learn to KNOW in your own body when something isn’t right;
• Build your self-esteem – make a commitment to do something for your growth each day (read for 10 minutes, breathwork, don’t complain, don’t scroll etc) and keep the promise to yourself – this builds inner trust. Do what you say you are going to do each day for 30 days. Then start a new commitment;
• Look yourself in the eyes each morning – this helps you look others in the eyes which helps you to stop turning away from yourself,
• Stand firm as you take up space;
• Do grounding meditations;
• Walk barefoot on the Earth;
• Stand with both feet firmly and evenly planted;
• Learn to be OKAY with who you are, as you are – unworthiness can feel like a present day feeling of not belonging, or feeling invisible.
• Work on seeing, validating, and loving yourself and your inner child – all attributes for strong self-worth.

Snippets from my latest trip to Scotland:

Sea swims, Loch Trool, and waterfall magic in the ancient “Wood of Cree.”

A quote I really resonate with:

“Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a friend.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert

This week, I’ve been grateful for: Women

A year of swimming outdoors with a a small, trusted circle of women who have the same passions, and are at the same stage in life, has taught me once and for all that women need women.

We deserve to surround ourselves with the ones we can be vulnerable with – to show up as we are, and start healing the fear of being seen and heard wound. To silently say: “This is who I am. This is my life, these are my tears, this is what I’ve gone through to get here today,” and know that your words will land in a safe container. There is something truly magical about getting to a place where you can feel comfortable being your whole self.

If you would like to know how Root Cause Therapy can help you release your trapped emotions and dis-empowering beliefs, book a free discovery call with me.

It’s an honor to be here sharing my words with you, and I am incredibly grateful for the time you have taken to follow my journey, and read my words. Feel free to keep in touch: hello@aprilgreen.uk

Sending love and light always, April xxx

The post (Healing) The Unworthy Wound appeared first on April Green.

“Sometimes, forgiveness is
simply about making things right
in your own heart.”

April Green

A song I’m currently enjoying:

Letting go

Over the last few weeks, I’ve received lots of messages from women who have read my free eBook, Healing your Inner Child; and it’s been truly beautiful to hear how so many looked out photographs of themselves as children in order to start healing this part of themselves.   But a number of people felt the same as I once felt about myself when they found a photo of themselves as young adults about to embark on what they know now to be a mistake, or a painful few years: “I feel angry when I think back to who I was then…”

So I’m going to share a beautiful visualisation meditation for self-forgiveness that I undertook as part of my training in Root Cause Therapy; starting with the woman I was at the crux of entering into a destructive relationship (the version of me that I have berated the most). It then moves through all the different energetic imprints of what she went through, and who she became over a period of 18 months, ending when I had therapy and started healing deeply, and living from a space of presence.

In this powerful technique, the versions that I went back along my timeline to collect were the versions that my subconscious mind was still showing me in the form of images, and symbols of pain, shame, anger, and sadness.

This is a transformative practice, and I invite you to try it for certain periods in your life that made a mark on you, and have inadvertently kept some hurt versions of you stuck in the past.

Why do we get stuck?

Anything we haven’t forgiven, or let go of from the past is projected out into the future, and is seen through the lens of the present moment.  This is because all of the events from your past are stored in your cellular memory, or subconscious mind.  Whenever an event causes us emotional pain that goes unresolved, and unprocessed (usually from the ages of 0-7), we almost always simultaneously produce an incorrect belief through a misinterpretation of the event. ie, “what happened meant something negative about me”, or “love isn’t available to me.  I am alone.  I am unworthy.”  

Every time a similar event from the past is experienced in the present moment, the same memory, as well as the emotional response, is activated at an unconscious level; and this shapes and controls our current experience.  In other words – we respond from the wounded inner child.

So if you have overwhelming experiences from the past – specifically memories with a strong emotional charge – that have not been accepted (through uprooting the mistaken belief, preserving the positive learnings, and forgiving yourself for buying into the mistaken belief), then you may find yourself re-living the memories over and over again; and seeing the same lifestyle themes repeating themselves. 

To the subconscious mind however, these memories are not past experiences – they are very much a present reality. And, this is why we feel stuck. Each time we feel fear, we revert back to the emotions and beliefs we had during an overwhelming time in our lives, and we embody the same version of ourselves, and the same beliefs we created back then.

These types of limiting beliefs generate the reaction of fear because they separate us from who we truly are, and what our deeper, authentic selves know to be true. For example, an event that was distressing to us as a child may have created the belief: “I am not lovable.” But, to our deeper Self, this is not true as we are inherently lovable and worthy. So, a gap gets created. And it is this gap that causes us to feel “separate” from the whole; as though something is missing, or broken.  The reason I’m such an advocate for Root Cause Therapy is that it goes directly to where the original gap was created, and it heals the divide,

Read more about why we turn to the external world to try and give us relief from feeling separate in my free eBook.

Instant download

free 100 page eBook for you: “Healing Your Inner Child.” Download it here 

The path to inner healing

The path to deep, inner healing begins with acceptance, and self-forgiveness – we forgive ourselves for buying into the mistaken beliefs we created about ourselves due to overwhelming emotional experiences. We learn how to accept and embrace all the different aspects of ourselves – even the ones we might perceive as negative – with love and understanding. We recognise that every part of us, even the tough inner critic who berates us for returning to unhealthy situations, is simply trying to protect us from further emotional pain.

By offering ourselves, and all our past selves, unconditional acceptance and compassion, we open the doors to a profound transformation. When we can gently invite the parts of ourselves that are frozen in time, and hurting, to step forward and share their story, we can create a safe space to cultivate our vulnerability and authentic expression.

“If you are holding onto expectations about who you are supposed to be, how things should have turned out, what you could have done differently, what could happen next, then you are holding up a barrier to the life you deserve to be living now.”

April Green

Visualisation Meditation for Self-forgiveness

For this meditation, I would invite you to listen to some healing music. My favourite playlist for meditation is here.

Before you start, it is important to set the intention that you are ready to heal the wounds from a particular event. It is also really important that you approach this exercise as the highest expression of yourself, to ensure you do not “blend” with the emotions of the person you once were.

1. Get yourself into a relaxed, meditative state by doing a few rounds of coherent breathing:
   Inhale through the nose for the count of 4
   Exhale through the nose for the count of 6
   TIP:
   Place a hand on your heart, and a hand on your belly so that you can self-soothe at the same time.
   (Touch lowers cortisol – one of the main stress hormones that keeps the body in a dysregulated state.)
2. Once you feel relaxed, I would like you to imagine floating above where you currently are, and then moving along your past into an event that you still feel a strong emotional charge regarding the person you were at that time. It could be anger, sadness, hurt, or shame.
3. When you have located the event, (it could be the start of a relationship that you wish you had never started, or a choice you made that you wish you could have done differently), I would like you to visualise going down to the woman you were at that time, and standing next to her.
4. Let her know you are there with her. Visualise yourself touching her gently on the arm.
5. Tell her it’s okay, you are here with her now. That you know what she went through; that she no longer needs to carry this pain, or these emotions. Let her know that she did nothing wrong; that she was doing her best at the time, that you love her, and you are here to take her out of the event.
6. Now, reach out a hand to her and let her take it.
7. As you walk away from the event and back towards now, there may be other energetic imprints of versions of you that are stuck in an emotional charge between then and now.
8. Collect these versions along the way.
9. The next part is the most beautiful part. You are going to visualise yourself as you are now – as the secure attachment figure that these younger versions of you need – sitting in a circle with all of these younger versions. So this could be yourself and one younger version, or yourself and 10 younger versions.
10. Now, visualise all of you holding hands.
11. Ask them to repeat after you: “I forgive myself for buying into the belief that the event I was stuck inside meant something negative about me. I am good enough, I love myself as I am.”
12. Fill your awareness with nothing but love and compassion as you sit in this circle, and allow the energy of that love and compassion to stretch out to all these younger versions of you, and beyond.
13. Rest in this space for as long as you want.
14. Next, visualise a beautiful pink light surrounding you all. Keep breathing this pink light until it, and the women it is surrounding, get smaller and smaller before integrating the light and all the women into your heart as one beautiful ball of healing light.
15. When you are ready, take your time to slowly come back into the room. Wriggle your fingers and toes. Move your head from side to side. Start breathing normally. Gently open your eyes.

A heartfelt reminder:

Too many women—having experienced the sting of betrayal after bravely opening up and sharing their vulnerability—unconsciously close themselves off from deep, authentic love.  This is a topic very close to my heart; and one that I believe many of you beautiful souls can relate to. What helped me get through the feeling of betrayal was a deep insight I received during meditation: “you have NOT betrayed yourself. By opening yourself up, you have created a sacred space within your own journey of inner transformation. You have shown yourself that you are willing to be authentic, even in the face of potential pain. And this is an act of incredible bravery.”

• Betrayal is a reflection of another person’s choices and actions, not a reflection of your worth or character.
• Forgive yourself for buying into the misunderstanding that betrayal meant something about you.
• You have honored your truth, shared your deepest self, and that is something to be applauded.
• Vulnerability is not a one-time risk, but a continuous journey.
• Find the courage to open up again, and to trust again.
• Believe that there are people out there who will cherish and honor your vulnerability.
• Surround yourself with those who uplift and support your authentic self. 
• You are worthy of love, respect, and genuine connections.
• Trust that as you heal and grow, you will attract those who will celebrate and uplift your courage to be who you truly are.

Snippets from the last couple of weeks:

A quote I really resonate with:

““The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
― Steve Maraboli,

This week, I’ve been grateful for:

I have been working closely with some beautiful women or the last few weeks, and guiding them through transformative healing sessions. I am always so grateful, and humble to women who want to heal and grow beyond their limiting beliefs, childhood wounds, and fears about stepping into their fullest expression.

If you would like to know how Root Cause Therapy can help you release your trapped emotions and dis-empowering beliefs, book a free discovery call with me.

It’s an honor to be here sharing my words with you, and I am incredibly grateful for the time you have taken to follow my journey, and read my words. Feel free to keep in touch: hello@aprilgreen.uk

Sending love and light always, April xxx

The post Have you forgiven yourself yet? appeared first on April Green.

“The more I have dared to reveal
and align with my true self,
the more comfortable and safe
I have felt in my own skin.
It’s like coming home to something
incredibly familiar.”

April Green

A song I’m currently enjoying:

The true meaning of confidence

The concept of confidence is often misunderstood. A misunderstanding that I, too, held until a profound experience during my 3rd Root Cause Therapy session. During the session, my facilitator and I delved into a disempowering belief I had been carrying with me for as far back as I could remember: “I am not confident.” My body revealed this belief to us through a cellular memory test we use for discovering the beliefs that the body is holding onto. (The reasons these beliefs get created is explained in my free eBook: “Healing Your Inner Child.” Download it here).

As we traced back to an event that solidified this belief, I was able to disperse the energy behind the emotions that arose at the time, so that I could see the event more clearly, and through the lens of the wisdom I hold now. It was at this stage of the healing that I had a profound realisation: confidence lies in staying authentic to yourself, and honouring your values.

It may seem very obvious to you reading this, and to be honest, it is startlingly obvious to me now. But right up to the session, the belief “I am not confident” had been with me for most of my life – it felt completely palpable. I wore it. It was a big part of how I defined myself – “I’m not confident.” It feels strange saying it now, and this is because this belief no longer exists in my subconscious – it has been uprooted. It no longer resonates with me anymore.

One of the reasons I love Root Cause Therapy is that old perceptions fall away to the point where they now feel like a dream. Yet, for a long time, I had found myself on a journey towards a fixed sense of being a certain way – being confident – as though it was a destination I would eventually reach. It so often felt as though I could somehow add something onto who I already am; when the reality is that I needed to instead remove the beliefs and blocks that were in the way of who I inherently am.

Confidence requires an act of honesty

Now, I have certainly reached what feels like a different space, rather than a destination, and that is one of being authentic – honouring my truth, and having the courage and conviction to say “no, this doesn’t feel right to me, so I am not doing it.” For me, this is confidence. This is trusting what you know to be true for you; and not being afraid to say so. And, do you know what is even more confident? When you allow vulnerability to enter into this space with you: “I feel frightened right now. I’m feeling triggered right now. I need some space to work through this. I need a walk. I need to do some energy healing.” etc.

Admitting how you are truly feeling, and what is coming up for you in the moment, doesn’t mean you can’t, or you won’t take the next step towards your growth. It means that you are aware of the felt sense of fear in your body without judgment or suppression. And once you have stayed with this feeling, and spoken it out of yourself, this felt sense can be explored and healed in time – if you want that. In this way, the belief – I am not confident, or I am not good enough, or I am not worthy enough stops being a fixed belief, and opens you up to the possibility that it can be explored, and healed. This is the direct path to healing – you go directly to the emotion.

It takes courage to open yourself up to the possibility of being hurt or rejected, but it is in this rawness that true connection to yourself, others, and your life can be found. When you embrace vulnerability, you invite others to do the same, creating an environment of trust and authenticity. This is something I have created more and more of by being vulnerable and open with others. But it only became a possibility when I became vulnerable and open with myself first.

Ultimately, confidence is honoring your feelings, and allowing yourself to experience them without judgment or suppression. It is the ability to trust in yourself and your thoughts, and know that it is okay to feel a certain way. It is okay to tell others how you are feeling – all is welcome.

“The key to growth is understanding we are given the ability to make mid-course corrections in our life and having the courage to make necessary changes when what we are doing is not working for us.”

Michael Newton – Journey of Souls

Instant download

free 100 page eBook for you: “Healing Your Inner Child.” Download it here 

Connecting with yourself

After that 3rd root cause therapy session, and whilst I was training to become certified, I discovered more and more, that confidence – in who you are, as you are – emerges with very little effort when you cultivate a profound connection with yourself.  It arises naturally as a result of being in tune with your true essence; and learning to start expressing that essence without apology.

But, how do you get in tune with your true essence?

When you re-visit your own values, desires, passions, and interests. When you start removing the blocks and dis-empowering beliefs that are holding you back from absorbing yourself into these passions, desire, and interests. When you surrender to all the limiting beliefs you have and just BE yourself. And this might look like:

“I may not be a great artist, but I’m going to get a sketchbook and some paints and express myself. I may not be a great potter, but I’m going to get a lump of clay and have a go. I may be scared of cold water, but I’m just going to stand up to my waist and take in the view.” Why? Because, I just want to be here, as I am, without any pressure, without any pretense, without any mask. I just want to be here as this messy, curious, excitable, child-like human enjoying being wholly and entirely that.

When you can do this… for a week, a month, a year – when you can give yourself permission to stop searching for the answer, and rest in the only place you will ever find the answer; the path that’s been designed especially for you will get revealed. And here, you will discover that the very act of stopping for air; resting in your own body, is all part of that path.

“I will never have this version of me again.
Let me slow down and be with her.”

Rupi Kaur

Creating the right environment for authentic expression

When your inner and outer environment includes safety, patience, acceptance, curiosity, nurturing, resourcing, compassion, support, and presence, the innate intelligence that resides within you becomes empowered, and your life starts to flow naturally and effortlessly.  And then each time you tap into this empowered place inside you, your intuition gets stronger and clearer. Action becomes inspired, and arrives in a very precise and perfect order.

Start cultivating a sacred space each day to perform healing rituals that you are drawn towards doing—body based techniques to interrupt your habitual response patterns, movement, writing, drawing, breathwork.

Set the intention to allow and welcome whatever wants to arise. In this way, you are inviting your authentic self to express itself. You are being yourself, exactly as you find yourself. And this is a beautiful place to be.

When you are free
from the pull of external influences
and expectations,
your authentic expression
becomes free to manifest
in its purest form. 

The first step to cultivating and nurturing authenticity: revisit your core values.

One of the very first exercises I undertook whilst healing at a deeper level was revisiting my core values.

Most of us don’t always know, or align with, our personal core values. We think we do, until we notice that we have attracted into our lives someone, or something that causes us to turn away from what we value the most.

Many of us are also unaware that the wounded parts that we pushed away during our developmental years hold the key to what we value the most, but didn’t receive. For example, if in your younger years, your family life felt chaotic, or emotions weren’t expressed, and you had a sense of not being seen or heard, you may have unconsciously formed a mistaken belief that it isn’t safe to speak your truth. You may have repressed this part of you, and will therefore keep attracting people and circumstances into your life that will perpetuate this belief.

The need to be seen and heard may therefore become a core value in what you need in your life going forwards; and in the process of affirming and feeling into this belief, you may decide to start tracking the origin around where, and how the belief “it is not safe to been seen and heard” was created.

Start by taking a few deep breaths
and ground yourself into your body.
Recognise the courage and love you have for yourself
by taking the first step in this journey of creating
your personal core values.

Discovering your core values:

1. Consider your most meaningful moments—beautiful experiences that really stand out. What was happening? How did it make you feel? What values were you honouring?
2. Now, go in the opposite direction; consider a time when you got angry, frustrated, or upset. Make a list of as many moment in your life as you can, and focus especially on childhood. What was going on? What were you feeling? Now flip those feelings around. What value is being suppressed?
3. What’s most important in your life, beyond basic survival needs? What must you have in your life to experience fulfillment? Creative self-expression? A strong level of health and vitality? A sense of excitement and adventure? Surrounded by beauty? Always learning? For example: I have a need for safety in relationship, I have a need for presence, I have a need for security, I have a need for balance, I have a need to be seen, heard, known, validated (belonging.)
4. Combining all of the values you have listed into related themes. For example – values like accountability, responsibility and reliability are all related to each other, as are creativity, inspiration, and art – so summarise these into one core value that resonates with you the most. While the number of core values differs for each person, the magic range seems to be between 5 and 10.
5. Now rank your values in the order of importance. You may need to do this step in multiple sittings. Here are a few questions to help you:
   What values are essential to your life – which ones represent your core way of living?
   Which ones feed your soul?
   What values are essential to supporting your vision and your desires?
   Which ones are you most drawn towards?
   Which ones feel right when you read them aloud?
6. Next, reinforce your values by turning them into your own self-affirming statements and adding them into your journal and onto your vision board.

As I wrote in my last blog “When Deeper Healing Calls” – when you inquire at a deeper level, and at a “felt sense” what value matters the most to you, take a sacred pause and reflect on each one. Ask yourself if you are giving that quality to yourself. For example: if the feeling of belonging matters the most to you (being seen, heard, validated) ask yourself “In what ways am I seeing, hearing and validating myself?” If trust is important to you, ask yourself: “Do I trust myself? What do I do to show myself that I trust myself?” Do this for every value. Find out if you are embodying that value first.

Finding joy in beautiful images

Sometimes, it is the simple things that bring you home to yourself. I love the colour of the yellow mixed with water and sand. A vision board really stirs your soul and relaxes your nervous system.

A quote I really resonate with:

“See enough and write it down, I tell myself, and then some morning when the world seems drained of wonder, some day when I am only going through the motions of doing what I am supposed to do… on that bankrupt morning I will simply open my notebook and there it will all be, a forgotten account with accumulated interest, paid passage back to the world out there. It all comes back. Remember what it is to be me.“

Joan Didion

This week, I’ve been grateful for:

Eternally grateful to the benefits of cold water, sunshine, Earth, birds, and early morning’s drinking cacao with friends.

If you would like to know how Root Cause Therapy can help you release your trapped emotions and dis-empowering beliefs, book a free discovery call with me.

It’s an honor to be here sharing my words with you, and I am incredibly grateful for the time you have taken to follow my journey, and read my words. Feel free to keep in touch: hello@aprilgreen.uk

Sending love and light always, April xxx

The post Redefining Confidence appeared first on April Green.

“I wish more women knew that
so many things society deems abnormal,
or dysfunctional, are actually survival based
patterns that we have adapted to because of
our inner pain.”

April Green

A song I’m currently enjoying:

Returning

Hello! I’m back to blogging and I’m so happy about that!  Thank you for your patience. I have spent the last few months healing deeply, adding to my existing holistic healing certifications, and undertaking additional training in trauma informed therapies, manifestation, and energy healing.  I have also created my new website (I hope you love it), and written a free 100 page eBook for you: “Healing Your Inner Child.” Download it here 

You can read more about my recent healing journey in the book, but essentially, some kind of innate inner calling had been walking alongside me for a while, yet there was no empty space for it to be channelled through. I could hear it –  I wanted to work with Chopra on their Ayurveda and Meditation and Coaching programmes – but my life took a slightly messy turn for 2 years, and some old, dis-empowering beliefs returned with force and blocked the inner guidance from being trusted and followed.

It wasn’t until I immersed my whole body into cold water that the unconscious, habitual alignment with fear completely dissolved, and left me with nothing but an invitation to listen without any doubt to what was being so clearly transmitted to me – to become certified in trauma healing and embodied processing. But something else arose much quicker than the gasp of air I took when my body touched the water: “You need to invest in some therapy for yourself too.”

Reminder:

You are not here to change anything within yourself.
You are here to awaken, and heal all that is suppressed
and hidden within you so that you can embody all of
yourself.

Change can’t take place without challenging times

When you take a disordered mind into nature’s wild existence, the disorder falls away; like a clenched fist relaxing and never closing again.  What you find in the palm of your hand is all of you – exactly as you are.  And it’s okay.  After all the fighting, and resisting, and perfecting, and tightening, it becomes okay when you give yourself permission to just be; to simply return to your true nature. 

And from this place, I noticed that life never really changed.  It was me who travelled on a journey of trying to work something out. It was me who walked through a shallow stream to avoid the deep, open lake existing alongside it.  And it was me who climbed over rocks; slipped, and fell, and bruised my bones in an attempt to avoid the expansiveness of the lake.  It was me who travelled and travelled until I was brought to my knees and could do nothing but surrender to something I can only refer to as a “recognition.”  

It is the wild expanse of the lake that heals.  It is the open, boundless lake that is home. Not the shallow stream of semi-conscious distraction.  Life is the all embracing, multi-dimensional deep water – the place where, in spite of being out of your depth, you always stayed afloat.

Change can’t take place without these cycles: the pain, adversity, joy, growth and seeming falling apart. The chaos, confusion, despair – the intensity of it all.  Something eventually gives – like a breaking open of something you fear is going to be hard, but is in fact soft.  And, no matter how many times you forget; no matter how many times you unconsciously build another wall, block out the light, the softness never changes – she waits.  She shows you a new way of relating to life, a new way of relating to challenges, and most importantly, a new way of relating to yourself. 

This softness is available to you when you turn toward the innermost depths of what you know in your heart to be true.

The person you are today is your inner child tomorrow. 
And whenever you need a way out of something,
the only place you need to go is within. 
You are the magic that opens your own heart and
gives you the courage to keep going;
to keep falling deeper and deeper into
yourself.

Healing is a lifelong journey

I hope my free eBook helps you see that healing is a lifelong journey. 

The whole human experience inevitably includes pain and loss. It inevitably includes heartbreak. And it inevitably includes happiness and joy.

The end of resistance; the end of searching, and avoiding, and clinging, and praying means that you can meet all of it in the same space. And there is grace in this. There is grace in experiencing the achingly beautiful, and often messy expanse of life; knowing that everything you are experiencing and learning is giving you the courage to allow it all, to fall into it all; and to rise fuller, and more connected to yourself, and your life than ever before.

When the “not enough-ness” that drives the seeking part of you to get somewhere, be something else, fill a seeming emptiness, falls away, (and this can happen instantaneously as it did for Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie, or slowly like a message in a bottle taking years to wash up on the shore), then what you are left with is who you inherently are. Divinely perfect and inherently worthy.

In my case, I am still the message in the bottle – touching the shore and being pulled back, touching the shore and being pulled back.  But the need to get to the shore, and stay there has completely fallen away.  Years and years of spiritual “seeking,” and then trauma informed certification, has led me to realise that what we are actually seeking is relief.  Relief from the grip of identity, conditioning, core wounds, and stored survival stress.  When you read my free eBook, this will become clearer.

What else did I do?

I swam in freezing cold water 3 times or more each week.* I had Root Cause Therapy, (which helped me so much that I became certified as a practitioner of it). I sat in ceremony with my wounded inner child and the integrative plant medicine Cacao (I will be doing another blog about this soon). But, most importantly, I met safe, secure, grounded people in a safe, secure, and grounding environment. Our safety, and our environment – who we surround ourselves with – are the 2 key elements of deep, embodied healing.

I learned that during those messy 2 years, I had “blended” with my wounded inner child, and was responding to life through her eyes; through her 3 core wounds. (There are 5 core wounds, and I discovered through Root Cause Therapy, and the education involved in this modality that I had 3).

What followed was that the silhouette of the woman I had become started to be filled with her own authenticity again. I returned to my body; and everything that I had rejected of myself, (through fear of being rejected); everything that was repressed, buried, unseen, starting rising to the surface and revealing itself. And when it surfaced, it was met with a heart like a blood red moon – wide open, and forgiving.

*cold water therapy is not a pre-requisite for deep healing, but getting to the bare bones of the Earth in some way or another is something I would invite you to build into your life, especially if you have a core wound of rejection.

If you are a woman like I was – searching for the answer “out there,” I help you get back into your body so that you can discover that the answer is “in here.” (The answer is you).

– April Green

What can you do to start healing deeply?

The first 3 steps:

1. Start by understanding that you are inherently worthy.

We grow up unconsciously assuming various personalities in order to feel loved, to fit in, and to meet the expectations of others. These “masks” are survival adaptations, and survival also includes “fitting in, feeling safe, feeling loved, feeling as though you belong.” Why we adapt is explained in my free eBook, but in the process of adapting, we abandon and reject our authentic selves – who we truly are. We then try to get back to who we truly are by moving along a trajectory which, for some of us, starts at “feeling unworthy,” and has an end goal (or destination) of “feeling worthy”.

The embodied way of healing is learning to start the journey at “worthy” (which is what we are and always have been), whilst removing any mistaken beliefs, patterns, behaviours, (and even people and things if necessary), that cause us to feel “unworthy.” So, the journey is actually one of standing still, and shedding.

2. Understand that when you are ready to start healing at a deeper, embodied level, you must be open to it mentally, physically, and energetically.

• Mentally – set the intention that you are ready to heal. The Universe loves positive intention!
• Physically – start taking action – show up for yourself in the way of creating daily rituals and small actionable steps (I will be doing a blog about this soon). All it takes is one action step before the Universe joins you and helps!
• Energetically – remove any blocks that are in the way. Sometimes we can want something at a soul level, (expansion), yet push it away at a physical level due to unconscious, dis-empowering beliefs – ie, I want safe connections, but I have an unconscious belief stemming from childhood that I will be rejected. Track the origins of your beliefs. Do some inner child healing. My last blog “Healing from a Whole Place” also takes you through meeting your inner parts.

3. Revisit your personal core values. What matters most to you?

When you inquire at a deeper level, and at a “felt sense” what value matters the most to you, (5-10 is a good number to have), take a sacred pause and reflect on each one. Ask yourself if you are giving that quality to yourself. For example: if the feeling of belonging matters the most to you (being seen, heard, validated) ask yourself “In what ways am I seeing, hearing and validating myself?” If trust is important to you, ask yourself: “Do I trust myself? What do I do to show myself that I trust myself?” Do this for every value. Find out if you are embodying that value first. This is transformational work.

My next blog will include a detailed exercise that will help you carve out your core personal values. My Telegram Channel “The Healing Space” will also give you daily tips and prompts. Join my Telegram Channel.

Snippets from Summer so far…

From soul connections, Cacao, breathwork, meditation, and shamanic drumming, to the breathtaking beauty of Venice. Life brings you whatever it is you desire… but it is you who creates the magic when those people and things arrive x

A quote I really resonate with:

“When you say ‘Yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘No’ to yourself.”

Paulo Coelho

This week, I’ve been grateful for:

The testimonial I received from a very beautiful soul:

It was so humbling to witness the very real shifts that took place in our 4 weeks together. To see such an authentic, radiantly passionate soul rising out of the weight of her past, and hear about the ongoing shifts that are taking place due to her commitment to self-love, and self-realization fills me with so much gratitude.

Deeper healing isn’t for everyone; I meet you where you currently are. I also offer mentoring, because sometimes we need to start our journey by learning more about why we have inner pain and dis-empowering beliefs, before we decide to revisit the past and heal.

It’s an honor to be here sharing my words with you, and I am incredibly grateful for the time you have taken to follow my journey, and read my words. Feel free to keep in touch: hello@aprilgreen.uk

Sending love and light always, April xxx

The post When Deeper Healing Calls… appeared first on April Green.

“Get to know yourself so well
that you learn how to stay with yourself
during the times you want to run.

These are the times you need yourself
more than ever before.”

Softening

A song I’m currently enjoying:

Happy 2023!

A few things I’m prioritising this year:

• education + learning
• camping + nature + adventure
• healthy connections
• deeper healing.
  

I am currently training in wellness coaching, (underpinned by sobriety) and I’m drawn to the only method I know, (and wholeheartedly advocate) from my own experience: holistic healing… healing the whole of you – body, mind, and soul. And starting from the inside out.

I think there is a place for talk therapy – “tell me what happened to you.” But, from my own healing journey, I am more aligned with somatic and embodied therapy – “tell me what’s happening in your body right now in response to what happened to you.”

As I’ve shared before – after many, many soul destroying years of trying to stay sober, I finally managed it 8 years ago by seeing (with some kind of divine clarity) that the part of me that believed I wasn’t good enough, that I was broken, unlovable, and much more, was never going to be the part that took the step towards changing those beliefs. It had to be the deepest part of me: the core, the unconditionally loving part – my true nature – that led the way. And even though both parts arose within the whole of me, it was the fear based, limited part that I identified with, and aligned with. I thought that was who I was, so I became her.

It was life changing for me to finally step into my true nature and heal myself from that loving, higher space; (and I write more about this intuitive calling in my blog post just breathe), but something was missing.

“To heal is to touch with love that which we previously touched with fear.” 

– Stephen Levine

The missing piece

When I aligned with my true nature, I defined the person I wanted to become (sober, healthy, spiritual, etc) and I embodied her. This was a valuable process for me at the time, and for many years later. It served me—I deepened my spiritual practice, started making healthier connections, strengthened my faith, and learned how to go towards fear. But ultimately, when you turn away from the part of you that was responding to life because of past trauma, you end up living on the very delicate edge of self-abandonment. Because that part is still here. And that part still responds to life in the only way it learned how.

I’m not saying that mindset work isn’t a fantastic way to transform. It is a valuable way to see that you don’t have to identify with the story you have been telling yourself based on your beliefs. But what happens to the part you have denied and supressed? Affirmations are another powerful way of recognising your worth – moving away from the erroneous belief of “I’m not worthy”, to the correct one of “I am worthy.” But how does this heal the part that felt unworthy for all of those years? In my experience, it doesn’t. This part stays where it is – beneath a blanket of positivity, spirituality, and “self-love.” It is only a matter of time before the old patterns and unwanted energies start resurfacing, and you realise you have to go beyond the current layer and do some deeper healing.

“What happens when people open their hearts?”

“They get better.” 

– Haruki Murakami

True and authentic self-love

Feeling the thing you are afraid to feel is something I have always highly advocated. Never underestimate the courage it takes to sit with your pain and get a felt sense of it. But sometimes, feeling what we fear to face isn’t always enough. We do it, but because it causes discomfort, the ego narrates a story around it which simply adds another layer, and more pain. We then end up pushing away the parts of us that are already hurt, or abandoning the parts that are already feeling abandoned. We start to believe that as long as we “do the work” of self-love, these feelings, and all the other heavy emotions buried within us, will miraculously fade. But the hurt parts will just keep calling to us, and showing up whenever a situation arises that activates them. If you are not aware that each part represents the hurt version (in all its different forms) protecting you in the now, then you will unconsciously take on the identity of this part, which could lead you to run away, numb, defend, control, or lash out.

The holistic and authentic way to heal from a whole place is to meet the parts that are showing up with compassion, gratitude, and warmth. To welcome them into the light where you already are, so that they can be met with tenderness, and acceptance for what they are showing you now. Only then will they start to dissolve into the loving space of your very own heart.

When you meet suffering and pain in this loving, open space within, you will also meet who you already are, and have always been – unconditional love.

We can not be free to fully love and accept ourselves until we acknowledge our pain and embrace it.

Emotions are where the answers are

Emotions, feelings, pain are not the enemy. They are the doorway to accepting your human experience. They do not reflect your true nature of love, and they do not reflect your worth.

When you meet your emotions somatically – inside your body – and place a hand where the energy of those emotions is most felt; when you welcome them, reassure them that they are safe here, accept them for how they feel now, (without any dualistic right or wrong, good or bad judgement)—this is healing at the innermost level. And it is only in this deeper place where you will directly experience your true nature of love.

When you are honest about how you are feeling, how you are feeling softens.

We think things come to stay, but really, things come
to pass. And when you observe the patterns that
thoughts and feelings take—the way they rise and
fall, whispering in opposites: sun and moon, earth,
and sky—you will begin to understand the flux and
flow of life; the impermanence of it all. You will
begin to notice that nothing is causing you any harm
unless you think it is. Everything is simply
appearing as a dance of polar energy within the
space of wholeness—both energies are needed to
complete the whole.

Excerpt from my new book: ‘Softening‘

How to reconnect with your whole self

The experience of fear, and pain, and dark emotions is not outside of us – the experience occurs within us. So it is only us who have the power to go within and soothe ourselves. It is only us who can feel all of these parts within us and invite them into a place of warmth – the home within us.

Our trauma – as it appears in our bodies now – needs to be loved to be healed.

Try to consciously be with whatever is arising within you – even if what arises feels uncomfortable – don’t push it away. When you suppress your emotions, you suppress your immune system, your suppress your true self, and you suppress your birthright of living a beautiful life.

A technique I use for working with physical and emotional reactions arising in my body:

1. Notice where, or how this trigger shows up in your body – for me, it’s a tightness in my chest or stomach, but sometimes, it’s a racing heart for no obvious reason. For others, it can be a closed throat, heat, numbness, etc.
2. Touch the place on your body where the energy is most felt. Placing one hand on your chest, and one hand on your stomach is deeply comforting and grounding. As is one hand on your forehead and one hand at the back of your neck. Do what feels intuitive to you.
3. Get curious with the felt sense within you. Understand that it is a hurt part of you trying to protect you from a place of love. (At your very core, beneath everything that is arising, everything that has made a mark on you, every memory, every emotion, is the universal energy of love.)
4. Welcome it. Don’t berate it, or shame it – it is part of you.
5. Breathe into it.
6. Acknowledge it: “I see you. Thank you for protecting me. I’m not going to abandon you.”
7. Keep breathing into it as you feel it dispersing.

Remember – it is the loving, welcoming part of you that will transform this hurt part and invite it to be dissolved inside your energy of love.

When you start to feel good and calm, you are more likely to see the situation that caused the reaction with more clarity – you are more likely to find a healthy solution.

Accepting your wholeness is key, and this has been a life changing exercise for me over the last few months. I hope it helps you.

You can read more about how to undertake your own breathwork practice here.

Mantra for forgiveness

When I was healing from breast cancer, I read about a beautiful Hawaiian technique called “Hoʻoponopono” and the practice I have been using above reminds me of this.

“I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.”

Read more about this technique here.

A note on kindness

We are not always kind enough to ourselves. In the last year, I have made peace with so many hurt parts of myself, and I have noticed that during the difficult period I experienced over the last couple of years, I berated myself, punished myself, and ultimately betrayed myself by not trusting my intuition from the very beginning. I suffered from cognitive dissonance, which is where a part of you very clearly sees the lies, the emotional abuse, and the ill treatment you are receiving, but another part of you doesn’t quite believe it, and makes excuses for their behaviour and blames yourself instead. One way to get over this, and start trusting yourself more is to write down what you factually know about the way someone is treating you. “I know you manipulated me when….. I know you lied to me when…. I know you gaslighted me when….” Once these facts have been confirmed in you, you can move on and create much healthier boundaries in the future, and start trusting and honouring your deepest instinct from the outset.

Emotions are a doorway. When you start listening to yourself with the most loving tenderness, you will find the answer.

Tender reminder:

Whether your pain is physical or emotional, allow it to be experienced as it is, and not as a story of pain. The second you remove any story behind the pain, and accept it for being pain, here and now in your body, you start to create an opening for it. The minute you start to welcome it with compassion, it starts to dissolve within you.

Self-love affirmation:

I am okay as I am.
I am enough as I am.
I am unique, and whole as I am.
I love myself in this moment.

The poetry and notes in my next book are an invitation for you to observe yourself. To learn more about yourself. And to see that your power lies in becoming who you already are, and then nurturing yourself from there.

Available from Barnes and Nobles stores, and online at Amazon, The book depository and Waterstones.

A snippet from today’s cold water swim:

One of the reasons I am drawn to this lake is for the beauty surrounding me when I’m there….the sun was rising at the back of me; but it was the moon I was drawn towards this morning.

A quote I really resonate with:

“Individuality is only possible if it unfolds from wholeness.”

David Bohm

This week, I’ve been grateful for:

I was telling my friend in Australia this morning that making friends at the lake, and having coffee with them the first few times felt more terrifying than going into the cold water. I am so grateful for the gentle, authentic connections I am making, and proud of myself for staying with the discomfort. It has greatly paid off.

Have you downloaded my latest free digital magazine? The link is here.

It’s an honor to be here sharing my words with you, and I am incredibly grateful for the time you have taken to read.

Thank you again for giving me the opportunity to expand and grow into this new space. For following along, for reading my work. Feel free to keep in touch: april@bloomforyourself.co.uk

Sending love and light always, April xxx

The post Healing from a whole place appeared first on April Green.

“Sometimes there is a rush to find something:
(an answer, a resolution, a relief, peace, love, contentment)
when all you really need to do is get still and find
your next breath.”

Softening

A song I’m currently enjoying:

When I got sober and started taking responsibility for my health and well-being 8 years ago, I had to start moving towards hard feelings. The kind of feelings that hold you in the air until you learn how to breathe into them. The kind of feelings that keep returning until you recognise that they are emanating from the hurt places inside you, and simply calling for compassion and healing.

I also learned very quickly to treat my recovery holistically – if you are not nourishing your nervous system and replenishing your neurotransmitters in a natural way, you will be less likely to succeed. I learned that there are specific foods, movements, and lifestyle practices that, when combined and undertaken consistently, have immediate roles in boosting your nervous system. And a healthy and balanced nervous system helps you to stop returning to old patterns, and instead, start growing in ways you truly deserve.

I also learned that, even when you feel naked and exposed in those first few months of stepping into a new way of living, something deeply intuitive will always pull you in the right direction if you have recognised that your desire to change has become stronger than your pain. And whilst you’re walking, and growing, and falling, and rising, the right people somehow magically appear at the right time – with the next invitation for growth.

Pei Chan’s invitation was to meet myself a little deeper – to start the process of meeting my fears, and my unhealed grief and trauma so that I can become brave enough to expand into the next stage of my life. Pei’s invitation was for a transformational breath session.

“Every breath session will reveal some blockages in your life.”

Pei Chan – inmi space

The journey of exploration

I have been following Pei’s Instagram page for a while as it is very beautiful, with lots of inspiring posts and affirmations, but also because I have always been a huge believer in the healing power of your breathe. My breathing technique for my yoga practice has improved greatly over the years, but since starting cold water swimming, I needed to learn how to breathe differently. I reached out to Pei, and we instantly connected and arranged my first journey into breathwork at her beautiful practice in London.

“I truly believe that all the answers are within ourselves, we have the power to heal ourselves. Breathwork and Hypnosis both tap into our subconscious mind which is so powerful. The breath helped me rediscover this magic in me. I want everyone to know that their magic is in them, waiting to be excavated.“

Pei Chan, inmi space.

What is breathwork?

Transformational Breath® is a self-empowering breathing technique. It brings healing and spaciousness into your daily life through consciously connecting your breath and noticing where you are breathing from, and when you are breathing. (We hold onto our breath without being fully aware of this.)

Pei started with a thorough consultation about my past, my physical and emotional health, and what I believed were my most dominant blocks. She then talked through the power of our breath, and what to expect during the session. I was encouraged to set an intention based on what we had discussed which could be repeated throughout the session. It is an intention that I have continued to use throughout my own breathwork practice following this incredible session.

The energy in Pei’s breathwork studio is extremely calming, and I felt very safe and comfortable in her presence. This was really important to me because a level of vulnerability is required when you are undertaking this kind of therapy – you are meeting yourself, your past trauma, and your repressed emotions.

But, as Pei says: “Don’t be afraid to go there. Your breath will guide you safely on a journey deep within to reawaken the parts you have forgotten, neglected, or suppressed.”

Meeting unhealed pain

During our consultation, Pei talked a lot about integrating with our unhealed pain instead of trying to remove it.

“You can never get rid of something that has happened: it will always be there. But you can integrate it to disempower the power it has over you.”

So, instead of pushing aside our pain, we can accept that it is there, and we can hold it. We can invite it to blend into who we already are so that we experience a shift in our perception of that pain. We can welcome the freedom that comes from integrating the darkness and the light, the joy and the pain, the fear and the love.

We can learn how to use our breath to take us within and reconnect with our innate ability to heal – and we can empower ourselves in the process.

“Breathe deeply, until sweet air extinguishes the burn of fear in your lungs and every breath is a beautiful refusal to become anything less than infinite.”

– D. Antoinette Foy

Breathe the right way

My session with Pei started with a breath analysis so that she could see if I was a chest breather or a belly breather. When we are breathing in our chest, we are probably not grounded in our bodies. Moreover – when we are breathing shallowly, we are unconsciously in the fight and flight mode which can add to stress and anxiety.

I was then guided into using my diaphragm muscle to initiate the breath and bring it lower into my belly, so that I was using my entire respiratory capacity rather than just the upper section. Once I had mastered this style of breathing, I was able to start with the breathwork – consciously connecting each inhale and exhale (like a circle) with no pauses in between. Throughout the session, Pei used hands-on acupressure, movement, and positive affirmations to help facilitate the process, and help the breath to connect, open up, and flow more freely.

The final part of the session was a beautiful meditation with a heavy eye pillow and a blanket. This was the deepest, most healing and warming meditation I have ever undertaken, and I have since switched up my morning meditation with an evening one because of the way I slept that night.

Pei finishes the session by gifting you a beautiful postcard with a reminder about your most powerful tool, and a space on the reverse to log your practice.

Creating a space to restore

Creating the space to restore, and reconnect with myself is so vital to me; and I left Pei’s feeling completely rejuvenated and altered. The overall result was a feeling of openness, clarity, and expansion, along with an empowering confidence to let go and move towards the next phase of my life. It is a practice I have committed to fitting into my daily routine, and it is already having a positive impact on my well-being. I am so looking forward to exploring again with Pei, and continuing on my journey within.

Benefits of a breathwork practice

Transformational Breath® is a conscious connected breath technique that helps to:

• Use your breath to cope with daily stresses and anxiety
• Become more conscious of your breathing habits
• Learn about how to breathe better and re-engineer your breath pattern
• Integrate with suppressed and repressed emotions & traumas
• Increase your breath capacity by utilising the right muscles to breathe
• Support you when you are going through a challenging time.

You can read more about how to undertake your own breathwork practice here.

Some breathwork affirmations from Pei:

“Breathe… it is safe to open my heart; to feel all my emotions.”

“I honour my boundaries. I honour myself. I honour my physical and mental space.”

“Everything is available to me. I am abundant. Everything is available to me in abundance.”

Music for your breathwork and meditation

Beautiful Chorus have changed the way I meditate…

A time for reflection

It is always so tempting to move into a new year with a list of all the positive changes you plan to make, without actually getting still and making a list of the changes that have already taken place within you.

I journal most days, but I always like to take some time at the end of the year to make a list of the inner transformations that have taken place, along with the intrinsic, unchangeable qualities that I all too often take for granted; forgetting that these are the very traits that always bring me back to who I truly am.

An example of something I will write as I reflect on the year:

“I love how loyal I am. I know my sensitivity is a gift, even if it doesn’t always feel that way – it helps me to write, and it helps me to be a good friend. I love how committed I am when it comes to inner growth and transformation. May I continue to get closer to myself, and to embody life as it truly is.”

It is also a really good practice for embracing the mindset that, in spite of all that has happened this year, positive or challenging, you are okay exactly as you are.

Tender reminder:

Remember: no one is complete. Completion is impossible. Everyone is moving and flowing and evolving. So instead of attempting to fold yourself into the painful and unattainable expectations you are perhaps placing on yourself, try to access more healing, more acceptance, more curiosity, and more self-love as you journey on this sometimes painful, but always magical path of life.

The poetry and notes in my next book are an invitation for you to observe yourself. To learn more about yourself. And to see that your power lies in becoming who you already are, and then nurturing yourself from there.

Available from Barnes and Nobles stores, and online at Amazon, The book depository and Waterstones.

A snippet of my life:

A lesson I’ve been reflecting upon lately:

Sometimes, the question you are trying to find the answer to is only the top layer. There are nearly always deeper layers embedded into this question, or recurring thought, that need your attention. Keep pulling back the layers until you reach the true wound.

A quote I really resonate with:

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” — Khalil Gibran

This week, I’ve been grateful for:

I am so grateful for the connections and friendships I am making in the areas of my life that are so important to me – my writing, my yoga practice, wild swimming, and now breathwork. Thank you to Pei for introducing me to a deeper understanding of the healing power of my breath.

I am celebrating my 8 years alcohol free birthday today – Winter Solstice, 21 December 2022, and I am grateful every day for the strength and courage I am handed from a source much greater than me.

Have you downloaded my latest free digital magazine? The link is here.

It’s an honor to be here sharing my words with you, and I am incredibly grateful for the time you have taken to read.

Thank you again for giving me the opportunity to expand and grow into this new space. For following along, for reading my work. Feel free to keep in touch: april@bloomforyourself.co.uk

Sending love and light always, April xxx

The post Just breathe… appeared first on April Green.