…you are your own healer

“Sometimes there is a rush to find something:
(an answer, a resolution, a relief, peace, love, contentment)
when all you really need to do is get still and find
your next breath.”

Softening

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A song I’m currently enjoying:

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When I got sober and started taking responsibility for my health and well-being 8 years ago, I had to start moving towards hard feelings. The kind of feelings that hold you in the air until you learn how to breathe into them. The kind of feelings that keep returning until you recognise that they are emanating from the hurt places inside you, and simply calling for compassion and healing.

I also learned very quickly to treat my recovery holistically – if you are not nourishing your nervous system and replenishing your neurotransmitters in a natural way, you will be less likely to succeed. I learned that there are specific foods, movements, and lifestyle practices that, when combined and undertaken consistently, have immediate roles in boosting your nervous system. And a healthy and balanced nervous system helps you to stop returning to old patterns, and instead, start growing in ways you truly deserve.

I also learned that, even when you feel naked and exposed in those first few months of stepping into a new way of living, something deeply intuitive will always pull you in the right direction if you have recognised that your desire to change has become stronger than your pain. And whilst you’re walking, and growing, and falling, and rising, the right people somehow magically appear at the right time – with the next invitation for growth.

Pei Chan’s invitation was to meet myself a little deeper – to start the process of meeting my fears, and my unhealed grief and trauma so that I can become brave enough to expand into the next stage of my life. Pei’s invitation was for a transformational breath session.

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“Every breath session will reveal some blockages in your life.”

Pei Chan – inmi space

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The journey of exploration

I have been following Pei’s Instagram page for a while as it is very beautiful, with lots of inspiring posts and affirmations, but also because I have always been a huge believer in the healing power of your breathe. My breathing technique for my yoga practice has improved greatly over the years, but since starting cold water swimming, I needed to learn how to breathe differently. I reached out to Pei, and we instantly connected and arranged my first journey into breathwork at her beautiful practice in London.

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What is breathwork?

Transformational Breath® is a self-empowering breathing technique. It brings healing and spaciousness into your daily life through consciously connecting your breath and noticing where you are breathing from, and when you are breathing. (We hold onto our breath without being fully aware of this.)

Pei started with a thorough consultation about my past, my physical and emotional health, and what I believed were my most dominant blocks. She then talked through the power of our breath, and what to expect during the session. I was encouraged to set an intention based on what we had discussed which could be repeated throughout the session. It is an intention that I have continued to use throughout my own breathwork practice following this incredible session.

The energy in Pei’s breathwork studio is extremely calming, and I felt very safe and comfortable in her presence. This was really important to me because a level of vulnerability is required when you are undertaking this kind of therapy – you are meeting yourself, your past trauma, and your repressed emotions.

But, as Pei says: “Don’t be afraid to go there. Your breath will guide you safely on a journey deep within to reawaken the parts you have forgotten, neglected, or suppressed.”

Meeting unhealed pain

During our consultation, Pei talked a lot about integrating with our unhealed pain instead of trying to remove it.

“You can never get rid of something that has happened: it will always be there. But you can integrate it to disempower the power it has over you.”

So, instead of pushing aside our pain, we can accept that it is there, and we can hold it. We can invite it to blend into who we already are so that we experience a shift in our perception of that pain. We can welcome the freedom that comes from integrating the darkness and the light, the joy and the pain, the fear and the love.

We can learn how to use our breath to take us within and reconnect with our innate ability to heal – and we can empower ourselves in the process.

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Breathe the right way

My session with Pei started with a breath analysis so that she could see if I was a chest breather or a belly breather. When we are breathing in our chest, we are probably not grounded in our bodies. Moreover – when we are breathing shallowly, we are unconsciously in the fight and flight mode which can add to stress and anxiety.

I was then guided into using my diaphragm muscle to initiate the breath and bring it lower into my belly, so that I was using my entire respiratory capacity rather than just the upper section. Once I had mastered this style of breathing, I was able to start with the breathwork – consciously connecting each inhale and exhale (like a circle) with no pauses in between. Throughout the session, Pei used hands-on acupressure, movement, and positive affirmations to help facilitate the process, and help the breath to connect, open up, and flow more freely.

The final part of the session was a beautiful meditation with a heavy eye pillow and a blanket. This was the deepest, most healing and warming meditation I have ever undertaken, and I have since switched up my morning meditation with an evening one because of the way I slept that night.

Pei finishes the session by gifting you a beautiful postcard with a reminder about your most powerful tool, and a space on the reverse to log your practice.

Creating a space to restore

Creating the space to restore, and reconnect with myself is so vital to me; and I left Pei’s feeling completely rejuvenated and altered. The overall result was a feeling of openness, clarity, and expansion, along with an empowering confidence to let go and move towards the next phase of my life. It is a practice I have committed to fitting into my daily routine, and it is already having a positive impact on my well-being. I am so looking forward to exploring again with Pei, and continuing on my journey within.

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Benefits of a breathwork practice

Transformational Breath® is a conscious connected breath technique that helps to:

• Use your breath to cope with daily stresses and anxiety
• Become more conscious of your breathing habits
• Learn about how to breathe better and re-engineer your breath pattern
• Integrate with suppressed and repressed emotions & traumas
• Increase your breath capacity by utilising the right muscles to breathe
• Support you when you are going through a challenging time.

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You can read more about how to undertake your own breathwork practice here.

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Some breathwork affirmations from Pei:

“Breathe… it is safe to open my heart; to feel all my emotions.”

“I honour my boundaries. I honour myself. I honour my physical and mental space.”

“Everything is available to me. I am abundant. Everything is available to me in abundance.”

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Music for your breathwork and meditation

Beautiful Chorus have changed the way I meditate…

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A time for reflection

It is always so tempting to move into a new year with a list of all the positive changes you plan to make, without actually getting still and making a list of the changes that have already taken place within you.

I journal most days, but I always like to take some time at the end of the year to make a list of the inner transformations that have taken place, along with the intrinsic, unchangeable qualities that I all too often take for granted; forgetting that these are the very traits that always bring me back to who I truly am.

An example of something I will write as I reflect on the year:

“I love how loyal I am. I know my sensitivity is a gift, even if it doesn’t always feel that way – it helps me to write, and it helps me to be a good friend. I love how committed I am when it comes to inner growth and transformation. May I continue to get closer to myself, and to embody life as it truly is.”

It is also a really good practice for embracing the mindset that, in spite of all that has happened this year, positive or challenging, you are okay exactly as you are.

Tender reminder:

Remember: no one is complete. Completion is impossible. Everyone is moving and flowing and evolving. So instead of attempting to fold yourself into the painful and unattainable expectations you are perhaps placing on yourself, try to access more healing, more acceptance, more curiosity, and more self-love as you journey on this sometimes painful, but always magical path of life.

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The poetry and notes in my next book are an invitation for you to observe yourself. To learn more about yourself. And to see that your power lies in becoming who you already are, and then nurturing yourself from there.

Available from Barnes and Nobles stores, and online at Amazon, The book depository and Waterstones.

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A snippet of my life:

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A lesson I’ve been reflecting upon lately:

Sometimes, the question you are trying to find the answer to is only the top layer. There are nearly always deeper layers embedded into this question, or recurring thought, that need your attention. Keep pulling back the layers until you reach the true wound.

A quote I really resonate with:

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” — Khalil Gibran

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This week, I’ve been grateful for:

I am so grateful for the connections and friendships I am making in the areas of my life that are so important to me – my writing, my yoga practice, wild swimming, and now breathwork. Thank you to Pei for introducing me to a deeper understanding of the healing power of my breath.

I am celebrating my 8 years alcohol free birthday today – Winter Solstice, 21 December 2022, and I am grateful every day for the strength and courage I am handed from a source much greater than me.

Have you downloaded my latest free digital magazine? The link is here.

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It’s an honor to be here sharing my words with you, and I am incredibly grateful for the time you have taken to read.

Thank you again for giving me the opportunity to expand and grow into this new space. For following along, for reading my work. Feel free to keep in touch: april@bloomforyourself.co.uk

Sending love and light always, April xxx