When Deeper Healing Calls…
…answer
“I wish more women knew that
April Green
so many things society deems abnormal,
or dysfunctional, are actually survival based
patterns that we have adapted to because of
our inner pain.”
A song I’m currently enjoying:
Returning
Hello! I’m back to blogging and I’m so happy about that! Thank you for your patience. I have spent the last few months healing deeply, adding to my existing holistic healing certifications, and undertaking additional training in trauma informed therapies, manifestation, and energy healing. I have also created my new website (I hope you love it), and written a free 100 page eBook for you: “Healing Your Inner Child.” Download it here
You can read more about my recent healing journey in the book, but essentially, some kind of innate inner calling had been walking alongside me for a while, yet there was no empty space for it to be channelled through. I could hear it – I wanted to work with Chopra on their Ayurveda and Meditation and Coaching programmes – but my life took a slightly messy turn for 2 years, and some old, dis-empowering beliefs returned with force and blocked the inner guidance from being trusted and followed.
It wasn’t until I immersed my whole body into cold water that the unconscious, habitual alignment with fear completely dissolved, and left me with nothing but an invitation to listen without any doubt to what was being so clearly transmitted to me – to become certified in trauma healing and embodied processing. But something else arose much quicker than the gasp of air I took when my body touched the water: “You need to invest in some therapy for yourself too.”
Reminder:
You are not here to change anything within yourself.
You are here to awaken, and heal all that is suppressed
and hidden within you so that you can embody all of
yourself.
Change can’t take place without challenging times
When you take a disordered mind into nature’s wild existence, the disorder falls away; like a clenched fist relaxing and never closing again. What you find in the palm of your hand is all of you – exactly as you are. And it’s okay. After all the fighting, and resisting, and perfecting, and tightening, it becomes okay when you give yourself permission to just be; to simply return to your true nature.
And from this place, I noticed that life never really changed. It was me who travelled on a journey of trying to work something out. It was me who walked through a shallow stream to avoid the deep, open lake existing alongside it. And it was me who climbed over rocks; slipped, and fell, and bruised my bones in an attempt to avoid the expansiveness of the lake. It was me who travelled and travelled until I was brought to my knees and could do nothing but surrender to something I can only refer to as a “recognition.”
It is the wild expanse of the lake that heals. It is the open, boundless lake that is home. Not the shallow stream of semi-conscious distraction. Life is the all embracing, multi-dimensional deep water – the place where, in spite of being out of your depth, you always stayed afloat.
Change can’t take place without these cycles: the pain, adversity, joy, growth and seeming falling apart. The chaos, confusion, despair – the intensity of it all. Something eventually gives – like a breaking open of something you fear is going to be hard, but is in fact soft. And, no matter how many times you forget; no matter how many times you unconsciously build another wall, block out the light, the softness never changes – she waits. She shows you a new way of relating to life, a new way of relating to challenges, and most importantly, a new way of relating to yourself.
This softness is available to you when you turn toward the innermost depths of what you know in your heart to be true.
The person you are today is your inner child tomorrow.
And whenever you need a way out of something,
the only place you need to go is within.
You are the magic that opens your own heart and
gives you the courage to keep going;
to keep falling deeper and deeper into
yourself.
Healing is a lifelong journey
I hope my free eBook helps you see that healing is a lifelong journey.
The whole human experience inevitably includes pain and loss. It inevitably includes heartbreak. And it inevitably includes happiness and joy.
The end of resistance; the end of searching, and avoiding, and clinging, and praying means that you can meet all of it in the same space. And there is grace in this. There is grace in experiencing the achingly beautiful, and often messy expanse of life; knowing that everything you are experiencing and learning is giving you the courage to allow it all, to fall into it all; and to rise fuller, and more connected to yourself, and your life than ever before.
When the “not enough-ness” that drives the seeking part of you to get somewhere, be something else, fill a seeming emptiness, falls away, (and this can happen instantaneously as it did for Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie, or slowly like a message in a bottle taking years to wash up on the shore), then what you are left with is who you inherently are. Divinely perfect and inherently worthy.
In my case, I am still the message in the bottle – touching the shore and being pulled back, touching the shore and being pulled back. But the need to get to the shore, and stay there has completely fallen away. Years and years of spiritual “seeking,” and then trauma informed certification, has led me to realise that what we are actually seeking is relief. Relief from the grip of identity, conditioning, core wounds, and stored survival stress. When you read my free eBook, this will become clearer.
What else did I do?
I swam in freezing cold water 3 times or more each week.* I had Root Cause Therapy, (which helped me so much that I became certified as a practitioner of it). I sat in ceremony with my wounded inner child and the integrative plant medicine Cacao (I will be doing another blog about this soon). But, most importantly, I met safe, secure, grounded people in a safe, secure, and grounding environment. Our safety, and our environment – who we surround ourselves with – are the 2 key elements of deep, embodied healing.
I learned that during those messy 2 years, I had “blended” with my wounded inner child, and was responding to life through her eyes; through her 3 core wounds. (There are 5 core wounds, and I discovered through Root Cause Therapy, and the education involved in this modality that I had 3).
What followed was that the silhouette of the woman I had become started to be filled with her own authenticity again. I returned to my body; and everything that I had rejected of myself, (through fear of being rejected); everything that was repressed, buried, unseen, starting rising to the surface and revealing itself. And when it surfaced, it was met with a heart like a blood red moon – wide open, and forgiving.
*cold water therapy is not a pre-requisite for deep healing, but getting to the bare bones of the Earth in some way or another is something I would invite you to build into your life, especially if you have a core wound of rejection.
If you are a woman like I was – searching for the answer “out there,” I help you get back into your body so that you can discover that the answer is “in here.” (The answer is you).
– April Green
What can you do to start healing deeply?
The first 3 steps:
1. Start by understanding that you are inherently worthy.
We grow up unconsciously assuming various personalities in order to feel loved, to fit in, and to meet the expectations of others. These “masks” are survival adaptations, and survival also includes “fitting in, feeling safe, feeling loved, feeling as though you belong.” Why we adapt is explained in my free eBook, but in the process of adapting, we abandon and reject our authentic selves – who we truly are. We then try to get back to who we truly are by moving along a trajectory which, for some of us, starts at “feeling unworthy,” and has an end goal (or destination) of “feeling worthy”.
The embodied way of healing is learning to start the journey at “worthy” (which is what we are and always have been), whilst removing any mistaken beliefs, patterns, behaviours, (and even people and things if necessary), that cause us to feel “unworthy.” So, the journey is actually one of standing still, and shedding.
2. Understand that when you are ready to start healing at a deeper, embodied level, you must be open to it mentally, physically, and energetically.
- Mentally – set the intention that you are ready to heal. The Universe loves positive intention!
- Physically – start taking action – show up for yourself in the way of creating daily rituals and small actionable steps (I will be doing a blog about this soon). All it takes is one action step before the Universe joins you and helps!
- Energetically – remove any blocks that are in the way. Sometimes we can want something at a soul level, (expansion), yet push it away at a physical level due to unconscious, dis-empowering beliefs – ie, I want safe connections, but I have an unconscious belief stemming from childhood that I will be rejected. Track the origins of your beliefs. Do some inner child healing. My last blog “Healing from a Whole Place” also takes you through meeting your inner parts.
3. Revisit your personal core values. What matters most to you?
When you inquire at a deeper level, and at a “felt sense” what value matters the most to you, (5-10 is a good number to have), take a sacred pause and reflect on each one. Ask yourself if you are giving that quality to yourself. For example: if the feeling of belonging matters the most to you (being seen, heard, validated) ask yourself “In what ways am I seeing, hearing and validating myself?” If trust is important to you, ask yourself: “Do I trust myself? What do I do to show myself that I trust myself?” Do this for every value. Find out if you are embodying that value first. This is transformational work.
My next blog will include a detailed exercise that will help you carve out your core personal values. My Telegram Channel “The Healing Space” will also give you daily tips and prompts. Join my Telegram Channel.
Snippets from Summer so far…
From soul connections, Cacao, breathwork, meditation, and shamanic drumming, to the breathtaking beauty of Venice. Life brings you whatever it is you desire… but it is you who creates the magic when those people and things arrive x
A quote I really resonate with:
“When you say ‘Yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘No’ to yourself.”
Paulo Coelho
This week, I’ve been grateful for:
The testimonial I received from a very beautiful soul:
It was so humbling to witness the very real shifts that took place in our 4 weeks together. To see such an authentic, radiantly passionate soul rising out of the weight of her past, and hear about the ongoing shifts that are taking place due to her commitment to self-love, and self-realization fills me with so much gratitude.
Deeper healing isn’t for everyone; I meet you where you currently are. I also offer mentoring, because sometimes we need to start our journey by learning more about why we have inner pain and dis-empowering beliefs, before we decide to revisit the past and heal.
It’s an honor to be here sharing my words with you, and I am incredibly grateful for the time you have taken to follow my journey, and read my words. Feel free to keep in touch: hello@aprilgreen.uk
Sending love and light always, April xxx