…Re-discovering your value

“You don’t need to do anything else,
or be anything else for you to be worthy.
You are already worthy. It is your
birthright.”

April Green

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A song I’m currently enjoying:

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I’m not good enough – the unconscious driver

From as far back as I can remember, I was always led by outside forces. Even when I could feel an inner knowing, like a tugging inside my chest drawing me to what was right; I ignored it and followed the crowd. I didn’t trust myself. I had no sense of self-worth, and instead, I put my trust into other people because I believed they knew better than me.

What followed was years of self-sacrifice, people pleasing, feeling less than, shrinking, numbing, running, and self-loathing. I didn’t know who I was, or how I felt, or what it even felt like to be me. I didn’t even want to be me, which is, ultimately, self-rejection.

When it comes to undigested life experiences that create stuck imprints, and survival stress in our nervous system, we forget the divine truth: that we are already worthy, and loved, and good enough. Instead, we operate from the following beliefs:

There’s something wrong with me
I’m not good enough
I don’t deserve this
I don’t fit in.

It took me a very long, turbulent, and messy time to finally understand that low self-worth, created from the core wound of rejection, (the mother wound for women) was unconsciously driving my life.

I could, and probably will write a whole book on the core wound of rejection, but I do cover it a lot in my free eBook – read if here if you haven’t already. You can also order a paperback copy with quotes and poems, and blank pages for your notes from Amazon.

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What is the Importance of Self-Worth?

When you have a strong sense of self-worth you can cope with negative thoughts and self-doubt. You give yourself the power to understand yourself holistically – (emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically), and you build the capacity to sit with difficult emotions and not allow them to flood you. You find ways to honour the complexity, and uniqueness of who you are, whilst also acknowledging that you deserve to take up as much space as anyone else.

Having a strong sense of self-worth stops you from settling, self-abandoning, and putting other people’s needs and emotions before your own.

Ultimately, knowing and embodying your worth starts with the ability to love yourself unconditionally – but please be wary of the “self-love” mindset traps you can fall into.

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False positivity perpetuates the unworthy wound

When we rely on mindset work to heal our core wounds, it can actually perpetuate them. The sense of “I’m not good enough”, and “I don’t trust myself” or “I’m doing this wrong” starts to take over because our subconscious mind doesn’t feel what we’re saying to be true. We therefore end up bypassing the root cause of how we feel. So, if you have core wounds, mindset work doesn’t really have any lasting effect; it just ends up being another form of seeking relief from feelings of insecurity and dissatisfaction. Read more about why we can get stuck in a healing trap here.

I’m not in any way against mindset work; however we can’t rely on mindset work alone when our cellular memory – the subconscious mind, is holding so many imprints from emotionally overwhelming events that were never fully processed. Once an event is stored and programmed, it makes no difference to the subconscious mind what we tell ourselves now. What is most important is to heal the cellular memory from the past event, and the feelings and beliefs this memory transmits. This means finding the origin, or root cause, of where the painful beliefs and narratives started, and seeing the event in a new light, and from the lens of an adult.

It means that we stop bypassing our current reality, and we learn to sit with and process the reasons why we need a positive affirmation to feel good about ourselves in the first place.

Instead of using a positive affirmation to change how you feel, use a positive affirmation to uncover the root cause of how you feel. I have a journal practice you can use for doing this at the end of this blog post.

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What is Root Cause Therapy

Root-Cause Therapy is a revolutionary healing modality, based on the ancient method of soul retrieval, which aims to address the underlying causes of various mental and emotional issues, such as anxiety, depression, addiction, trauma, and more. Unlike conventional therapies that focus on the symptoms or the surface-level problems, Root-Cause Therapy goes deeper into the subconscious mind and the body to release the negative emotions, beliefs, and patterns that are holding you back from living your best life.

Root-Cause Therapy uses gentle regression, somatic and embodied processing, and inner child healing to allow the completion of unprocessed emotions which are still presently causing unwanted thoughts, habits, and symptoms. 

In the first session, we discover the core wounds and the limiting beliefs that your subconscious mind believes to be true, and which are therefore affecting what you are attracting into your life, and affecting your self-worth. We then start processing and healing these emotional imprints and beliefs that are stored in your subconscious mind, so that you can start to release the need for any negative habits that have been created as a result. Root Cause Therapy is a wonderful, holistic modality for healing the wound of unworthiness.

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Healing is daily devotion (which strengthens self-worth)

I’m currently working 1:1 with women who all struggle with the same thing – worthiness, self-trust, confidence, and belonging. And so much of these feeling and dis-empowering beliefs are all part of being human. But these feelings and beliefs are also overlaying the lives we are worthy of living to our fullest, and causing depression, anxiety, emotional dysregulation and the reliance on coping mechanisms just to feel better.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

It takes courage, and time, and a very strong desire to heal pain, conditioning, and patterns that keep showing up and sabotaging your life, before you can even begin to feel into and know your inherent worth. But, the more your release and process, the more space you clear for your innate wisdom to come through and show you how incredible it feels to be who you already are. To be yourself without the armour of protection that was needed in your early years, and is no longer serving you now.

Integrating

Each time you process and heal, you rise into what is here now – you amplify your self-worth. This is the beauty of deep healing. Life contracts and expands, and you learn to build your tolerance for being with whatever energy is appearing. In time, you grow your capacity to sit with your emotional pain, and process it, instead of self-abandoning and turning to protective strategies that don’t serve you.

You get to experience the reward: the gift of peace, spaciousness, presence, and high self-worth.

True healing really does start with devoting yourself to strengthening, and deepening the relationship you have with yourself above anything else.

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Read more about healing the unworthy wound in my free eBook.

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Journal Exercise for finding what is blocking your sense of worth

Instead of using a positive affirmation to change how you feel, use a positive affirmation to uncover the root cause of how you feel.

1. Take a moment to be with the mind in curiosity. Say the statement “I am good enough”
2. Watch the mind and see how it reacts to this statement.
3. What happens internally? What comes up for you?
4. Practice other affirmations: “I am enough as I am”. “I am worthy of love”.
5. Feel into each one and notice what comes up for you.
6. Make a note, and see if you can track the origin of the original event if there is a block, or sensations, and images are appearing. If you feel nothing, then this is also a response; so make a note of this too as it could be a sign of dissociation, and shutdown.

Do this exercise regularly so that you can start cultivating a “felt sense” of your body and learn to go there more often. Get comfortable with being more in your body than you are in your head.

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How to strengthen self-worth

• Be very clear with yourself, and your boundaries – re-write your values;
• KNOW and TRUST when something doesn’t feel aligned;
• Don’t ask others for advice – learn to KNOW in your own body when something isn’t right;
• Build your self-esteem – make a commitment to do something for your growth each day (read for 10 minutes, breathwork, don’t complain, don’t scroll etc) and keep the promise to yourself – this builds inner trust. Do what you say you are going to do each day for 30 days. Then start a new commitment;
• Look yourself in the eyes each morning – this helps you look others in the eyes which helps you to stop turning away from yourself,
• Stand firm as you take up space;
• Do grounding meditations;
• Walk barefoot on the Earth;
• Stand with both feet firmly and evenly planted;
• Learn to be OKAY with who you are, as you are – unworthiness can feel like a present day feeling of not belonging, or feeling invisible.
• Work on seeing, validating, and loving yourself and your inner child – all attributes for strong self-worth.

Snippets from my latest trip to Scotland:

Sea swims, Loch Trool, and waterfall magic in the ancient “Wood of Cree.”

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A quote I really resonate with:

“Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a friend.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert

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This week, I’ve been grateful for: Women

A year of swimming outdoors with a a small, trusted circle of women who have the same passions, and are at the same stage in life, has taught me once and for all that women need women.

We deserve to surround ourselves with the ones we can be vulnerable with – to show up as we are, and start healing the fear of being seen and heard wound. To silently say: “This is who I am. This is my life, these are my tears, this is what I’ve gone through to get here today,” and know that your words will land in a safe container. There is something truly magical about getting to a place where you can feel comfortable being your whole self.

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If you would like to know how Root Cause Therapy can help you release your trapped emotions and dis-empowering beliefs, book a free discovery call with me.

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It’s an honor to be here sharing my words with you, and I am incredibly grateful for the time you have taken to follow my journey, and read my words. Feel free to keep in touch: hello@aprilgreen.uk

Sending love and light always, April xxx