…giving yourself permission to just be

---

Days when my soul yearns to be closer
to the heart of the things I love
are the days I give myself permission
to become lost in my own space.

Softening

---

A song I’m currently enjoying:

---

You will always bloom in the sweet space of your soul

Each time I set an intention to do nothing but simply be, and soften into the day – rest, sleep, read, dance, eat, I feel at my happiest. Something re-sets. Gratitude rises, well-being flows, and my heart feels like a flower about to burst into bloom.

There is something about setting an intention – it feels as though you are giving yourself permission in advance; preparing your mind that you plan to get still, and quiet, and loving towards yourself. When you plan to do nothing, the mind seems to oblige and create some space and silence for you – as though it too wants the rest. In return, you have created a feeling of security and safety for the mind, and I think that’s all it truly needs.

Setting the intention to do nothing but be with yourself feels like both an offering and a blessing – something always arises out of the space of nothing. Something you’ve been putting off appears and somehow feels softer and easier to face. Something you’ve been thinking about doing but not known where to start opens up without any effort. Something draws your attention, then something else, and suddenly nothing turns into everything beautiful about being alive.

---

---

Being with ourselves is entirely enough

The art of doing nothing is giving yourself permission to do nothing – this is the magic part. Because, we can never really “do nothing.” We can meditate, sit on a sofa and gaze into space, lie in a bed and gaze into space, but we are always doing something. So this is more about planning to do nothing specific, without prescribing what that could be.

We spend too much time feeling like we have to be someone, and do something, and be somewhere that we forget the value, and the truth that just being with ourselves, as ourselves, is entirely enough.

In the space of doing nothing, everything that is right for you will appear, because you have created the space for everything right to arise without any pressure, without any expectation.

And this isn’t about tricking the mind by telling it you’re going to do nothing today, but deep down hoping that something good will appear. For this will simply give rise to anticipation that something is going to happen if you do nothing. This is about having faith that when you give yourself permission to do nothing, you are resting, reconnecting, shifting, softening, and creating a space to be close to what is here right now.

Once you have taken the pressure off, removed the need for something to happen, or the guilt of putting yourself first, you have surrendered to reality – you are letting things be exactly as they are. And this is all the Universe ever wants us to do.

Our capacity to relax into our only true home, and understand that there are things we will never know, things we have yet to work out, and pain we have yet to meet is the highest form of acceptance. It is one which is desperately needed to create an altered mindset which brings forth happiness.

---

---

“I create. Moment. To. Moment. That’s how I survive”

Sometimes, we need to do nothing. For me, doing nothing has become a survival tactic. A place of refuge and safety. It feels necessary. Because in early recovery, I had to learn to overcome the fear of being with myself and feeling everything. It is an art I have mastered in the same way I mastered drinking in private. It is an art that inspired years of self-reflection, which led me to writing, and creating, and simply being alive. Everything after that very softly, and very quietly fell into place: solitude, survival, safety, service, sharing, self-care.

This isn’t to say that being alone is all sunshine and flowers. I still make bad decisions, I still make mistakes, and I still suffer dark seasons. Solitude has it’s own challenges – sometimes I can take it too far and become too attached to it. I recently had to teach myself how to re-integrate because a period of poor mental health took me too far into myself. I had to learn to find some balance between being alone because I love being alone, and being with others because I had got too used to being alone.

---

“It is okay
to give yourself permission
to do nothing but
make it through today.

(Your strength will return.)“

Softening

---

---

In the space of doing nothing you will find out something

In the space of doing nothing, you get to find out about who you truly are. You open up a space for living more intuitively, and with clearer intentions. Use this space to notice if there are certain patterns arising. Perhaps you will become aware of the little things that keep appearing in your life – especially the little things that trip you up and keep you feeling stuck. Find out why they keep showing up – what are they trying to teach you? And instead of blaming yourself, or feeling as though life is coming at you, or pushing against you, start to look within and find out if you are holding onto certain beliefs about what you think you deserve. We attract a reflection of how we feel about ourselves; so use this time to affirm your worth, and embed it into yourself; embody it.

Your concept of yourself determines the kind of flowers that bloom in your life. Spend time alone discovering if there are any changes you need to make to ensure you are attracting everything that matches the value you place upon yourself.

Reminder

Don’t set the intention to uproot pain, or let something go when you plan to do nothing because this will give rise to anticipation that something will happen when you let go. This will spoil the silence and the space you are creating because “waiting for something to happen” is a block to the flow of life.

---

---

Softening into nothing

If, in the act of doing nothing, something painful arises, you must give yourself permission to cry. Because this gives the pain behind the feeling the space to be heard, and felt, and validated. When you weep, you are softening your pain in the same way rain softens the Earth. Never feel ashamed for resting, and weeping, and surrendering to the depths of your pain. This is self-care. This is growth. And this is why doing nothing becomes everything that matters.

---

“Being with myself, healing myself,
is like a tender gathering, a confession:
to the voice I silenced when I struggled
to be understood
to the body I punished for
the self-perceived flaws
to the heart I took for granted
the scars I tucked away
the pain I kept alive.
Being with myself, healing myself
is like an act of forgiveness.”

Bloom for Yourself

---

Softening into nature

Every few weeks, I retreat into nature for a few days. I feel very fortunate to have discovered a secluded campsite in the middle of nowhere and it has become a little sanctuary for me. I take my juicer, my yoga mat, my laptop, candles, crystals, and a bag of fresh food, (plus some marshmallows for the fire.)

The value I get from visiting this place can’t be described, but it resets my entire system. I always have tears in my eyes when I have to leave. It’s as though I’m leaving my true self behind, because when I’m there, that’s exactly who I return to – I become who I already am.

I’m there again in 2 weeks time to do some last minute edits to my book Softening. I wrote most of the book there. It’s a very special place for me and I would sincerely invite you to find somewhere in the middle of nature where you can retreat to regularly if you don’t already do so.

---

---

The poetry and notes in my next book are an invitation for you to observe yourself. To learn more about yourself. And to see that your power lies in becoming who you already are, and then nurturing yourself from there.

I hope you love the cover of the book as much as I do.

---

---

---

Reminder:

You are not missing out on doing nothing. Doing nothing is part of your life. It’s all part of the wholeness, so you can’t be missing out on another part of your life, because this is your life. There is only one. There is not another version you have stepped out of to enter the place of doing nothing. This is the only version, and taking the time to rest is all part of it.

---

GIVEAWAY

I’ts not too late to enter my giveaway exclusive to this website. Leave a comment on my previous blog post “Softening” and I will put all names into a draw and announce the winners in a blog post on Sunday 27th November.

---

A snippet of my life:

---

A lesson I’ve been reflecting upon lately:

You don’t need to know how something is going to turn out. You just need to accept that everything at the moment is exactly as it should be.

---

A quote I really resonate with:

“If you make anything more important than the actual living,
then, you don’t know the art of living.”

— Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

---

This week, I’ve been grateful for:

My beautiful soul sister Tina reached 15 years of sobriety last week. I am so grateful for meeting her on Instagram early on in my recovery. She is, and always has been, a true inspiration to me – congratulations my love xxx

---

It’s an honor to be here sharing my words with you, and I am incredibly grateful for the time you have taken to read.

Thank you again for giving me the opportunity to expand and grow into this new space. For following along, for reading my work. Feel free to keep in touch: april@bloomforyourself.co.uk

Sending love and light always, April xxx