When we rely on mindset work to heal our core wounds, it can actually perpetuate them. The sense of “I’m not good enough”, and “I don’t trust myself” or “I’m doing this wrong” starts to take over because our subconscious mind doesn’t feel what we’re saying to be true. We therefore end up bypassing the root cause of how we feel. So, if you have core wounds, mindset work doesn’t really have any lasting effect; it just ends up being another form of seeking relief from feelings of insecurity and dissatisfaction.

Too many women—having experienced the sting of betrayal after bravely opening up and sharing their vulnerability—unconsciously close themselves off from deep, authentic love.  This is a topic very close to my heart; and one that I believe many of you beautiful souls can relate to. What helped me get through the feeling of betrayal was a deep insight I received during meditation: “you have NOT betrayed yourself. By opening yourself up, you have created a sacred space within your own journey of inner transformation. You have shown yourself that you are willing to be authentic, even in the face of potential pain. And this is an act of incredible bravery.”

When your inner and outer environment includes safety, patience, acceptance, curiosity, nurturing, resourcing, compassion, support, and presence, the innate intelligence that resides within you becomes empowered, and your life starts to flow naturally and effortlessly. And then each time you tap into this empowered place inside you, your intuition gets stronger and clearer. Action becomes inspired, and arrives in a very precise and perfect order.

Change can’t take place without these cycles: the pain, adversity, joy, growth and seeming falling apart. The chaos, confusion, despair – the intensity of it all.  Something eventually gives – like a breaking open of something you fear is going to be hard, but is in fact soft.  And, no matter how many times you forget; no matter how many times you unconsciously build another wall, block out the light, the softness never changes – she waits.  She shows you a new way of relating to life, a new way of relating to challenges, and most importantly, a new way of relating to yourself. 

When you meet your emotions somatically – inside your body – and place a hand where the energy of those emotions is most felt; when you welcome them, reassure them that they are safe here, accept them for how they feel now, (without any dualistic right or wrong, good or bad judgement)—this is healing at the innermost level. And it is only at this deeper place that you will directly experience your true nature of love.

I also learned very quickly to treat my recovery holistically – if you are not nourishing your nervous system and replenishing your neurotransmitters in a natural way, you will be less likely to succeed. And a healthy and balanced nervous system enables you stop returning to old patterns, and start growing in ways you truly deserve.