When we rely on mindset work to heal our core wounds, it can actually perpetuate them. The sense of “I’m not good enough”, and “I don’t trust myself” or “I’m doing this wrong” starts to take over because our subconscious mind doesn’t feel what we’re saying to be true. We therefore end up bypassing the root cause of how we feel. So, if you have core wounds, mindset work doesn’t really have any lasting effect; it just ends up being another form of seeking relief from feelings of insecurity and dissatisfaction.

Too many women—having experienced the sting of betrayal after bravely opening up and sharing their vulnerability—unconsciously close themselves off from deep, authentic love.  This is a topic very close to my heart; and one that I believe many of you beautiful souls can relate to. What helped me get through the feeling of betrayal was a deep insight I received during meditation: “you have NOT betrayed yourself. By opening yourself up, you have created a sacred space within your own journey of inner transformation. You have shown yourself that you are willing to be authentic, even in the face of potential pain. And this is an act of incredible bravery.”

Change can’t take place without these cycles: the pain, adversity, joy, growth and seeming falling apart. The chaos, confusion, despair – the intensity of it all.  Something eventually gives – like a breaking open of something you fear is going to be hard, but is in fact soft.  And, no matter how many times you forget; no matter how many times you unconsciously build another wall, block out the light, the softness never changes – she waits.  She shows you a new way of relating to life, a new way of relating to challenges, and most importantly, a new way of relating to yourself. 

I think we go over a situation in our heads again and again to try and seek relief from it; we are looking for a clue, an answer, a resolution; the final piece that will give us freedom from the pain of that situation.  But the relief can never be found in the thought, or the mental images that are created by the thought. The relief can only be found in the background of the thought. In the stillness, and the silence of the moment that is. And it was in stillness that I was able to start processing the pain. It was with self-compassion that I was able to start releasing the pain.